Love takes time

silly

2010-12-09T23:40:00.000-08:00

beberapa hari ini
mendadak merasa lebih bodoh dari biasanya

semua yang dipikirkan
dan semua yang di ucapkan
sudah tak sejalan lagi

breaking all the rules...

semua yang terjadi
semua yang terucap
menyulut percikan api dalam hati
aku tak kuasa menolak nya
dan dia tau itu...

who are you actually,
breaking my wall so easily
and my heart just can't hold back...

kau yang membuat ku merasakan ini
memutar seluruh duniaku ke dalam duniamu
aku tak mampu lagi melangkah keluar

aku telah jatuh cinta

menatap indah wajahmu
melihatmu tersenyum hanya ke padaku
meluruhkan hatiku tanpa ampun
tak mampu lagi
kusembunyikan rasa cinta ini darimu

aku tidak mencintaimu

2010-10-28T00:04:00.000-07:00

aku tidak mencintaimu!
tidak mencintaimu!
namun saat kau tak ada, kesedihan itu menghampiri ku
membuat ku cemburu akan langit cerah di atas mu
dan mungkin saja bintang pun kini tengah puas menatap mu

aku tidak mencintaimu!
namun aku tak tau mengapa,
meski semua hal masih berjalan semestinya,
dalam sendiriku pun aku masih menggumam
bahwa dia yang kucintai, tak seperti mu

aku tidak mencintaimu!
namun saat kau pergi
aku benci cerita-cerita indah tentang mu
membuyarkan setiap nada yang mengalun
meninggalkan lagu cinta itu di telingaku

Aku tidak mencintaimu!
namun sorot matamu yang tampan itu
selalu ada, mencuri kilau sang bintang
dalam tatapku pada sang malam

aku tau, aku tidak mencintaimu!
Sayangnya, hatiku lebih mengenalku
Dan tersenyum pada jiwaku
Yang masih saja menatap mu dalam kerinduan.

Hilang

2010-10-26T23:51:00.000-07:00

… About how I try to forget things that makes me feel awful …
mengungkapkan segala kepenatan hati lewat cara yang lebih pantas
dibandingkan harus menangis dan berdiam diri.

Berkali-kali terucap,
bahwa melupakan and move on, adalah pilihan terbaik…
Mengalihkan pikiran , memikirkan hal-hal lain yang lebih menyenangkan,
and of course akhirnya memunculkan keinginan untuk bertemu dengan
orang-orang yang lebih menyenangkan…
Come on, be positive thinking…
It’s the best way to do !!!

Isn’t it?!

Bantulah aku untuk menjawab…
When I found some difficulties in such ways to erase the memories of that person,
dan pada akhirnya, aku harus kembali pada suatu titik awal,
“ when I can not even lie, that the happiest moment in my life
is when I was having you in my life…”

is it really works ? is it really the best way to forget?
when you erase their name from your contact list?
delete it from your list…
Yet they still live alive in your memory ?!
Hahahahaha…
Come on…. !!!!

Dan akhirnya datang juga lah saat dimana pelanggaran untuk
- tidak akan pernah lagi menghubunginya - itu muncul…
Sesaat mencoba menjadi orang yang pemaaf,
mencoba menjadi tokoh penjalin hubungan baik,
dan…
mengumpulkan segenap keberanian utk menyapanya lebih dulu…
greets them with a nice words and good thoughts…
… then after a bunch of words of nothing
tiba-tiba tersadar…
-what a stupid thing to do !!!!!!
hahahahaha….

Do you think it’s stupid,
when you finally find out that their words is so cold ?!
and their voice is too plain… ?!
Will you feel disappoint ?!

Kalo mau gengsi, tentu jawab saja,
… tidak kecewa koq, it’s oke lah, gak masalah
At least I’ve tried to be nice… !!!

Well, well… people,
admit it with a big heart that you are disappoint of their reaction!!
iya kaaaaan… ?!
memendam segala kekecewaan saat pembicaraan terasa begitu jengah
owh, terbayang inginnya meninju wajah itu
memaki dan mengutuki dirinya yang begitu lovable,
bersumpah tak kan lagi mengulang kebodohan itu… !!!
I swear you’ll be out of my mind, you’re a damn thing !!!

… but yet I can't remove a single of his memory
Why is that?
Because you were once live, between sleep and awake…
Where you remember all your dreams.

stuppid

2010-09-26T20:41:00.000-07:00

ah ...
gatau deh harus menjawab apa
saat pertanyaan itu mengalir
dan aku gak nemu jawaban yang pas.

di mulut sih mengiyakan segalanya
agar nampak lah betapa diriku adalah manusia
dengan intelektualitas yang baik
serta cara pikir yang cukup sesuai dengan realita...

dan di saat yang sama,
jauh di dalam hati...
air mata itu sudah menetes satu persatu
perih nya hati sudah tak tertahan lagi.

masih mungkin kah untuk berkata,
" No, I am not agree with you "

...udah gak mungkin.

bukan maksud untuk bersikap pesimis,
tapi rasanya semua sudah percuma.
tiap argumen udah gak penting lagi,
dan hanya bisa meng angguk dengan senyum seadanya.

aku bukan orang gila yang akan brtindak
tanpa berpikir!
aku juga bukan orang yang baru 1 bulan saja merasakan
yang namanya jatuh hati.
tak perlu lah kuceritakan
betapa jauh sudah pikiran dan hatiku melalui
berlaksa-laksa tapak hati.
kadang aku mampu berhenti dan menepi
kadang aku terus berjalan dan tak pernah sedikitpun
menoleh ke belakang.

...dan kali ini pun,
aku hanya singgah, bukan untuk tinggal.
hanya ingin berteduh sejenak
di bawah rindang nya,
berteduh dari teriknya,
mengeringkan hati dari air mata yang menghujani.
dan sekali lagi, bukan...
bukan untuk tinggal dan masuk di halaman mu.

kau pernah mengijinkan ku
berteduh di sana
walau sekedar
merasakan sejuknya suara mu
mendengarkan rangkaian degup jantung mu

baiklah,
aku akan pergi
menjauh.
karena kau yang memintanya...

bodoh lah aku
bila tetap diam di sana,
walau hanya untuk sekedar memandangmu...

seandainya...

2010-09-19T20:05:00.000-07:00

Apa yang harus ku ucapkan
seandainya nanti kita ketemu lagi?

sungguh,
aku masih aja mikirin kamu...
Rasa yang aku rasa ini pun bahkan
mengalahkan hal-hal yang lainnya...

(sigh..')

seperti sinar matahari yang segitu terangnya pun
nampak tertelan oleh warna daun daun
di luar sana..

ah gilaaa...!

berasa banget rasa sepi nya
diantara bisingnya,
serunya suara musik dan lagu-lagu cinta itu...

beban yang di bawa oleh rasa ini
kian merayap ke arah kepalaku
mengetuk langit duniaku!

andaikan kamu bisa lihat aku,
tangan dan jemariku ini
diam membeku
menunggu kamu.

bagaimana harus ku katakan nanti
seandainya aku ini mecintaimu lagi,

seperti yang kulakukan saat ini...

After Love

2010-08-31T23:50:00.000-07:00

saat jatuh cinta,
katanya sih ada "sparkling magic" nya
yang bikin kita selalu berbunga-bunga sendiri...
ah, namanya juga lagi kasmaran yaaaa... !!!

heheheheh...
bener atau engga, gak tau deh
how about you ?

dan saat kita sudah tidak jatuh cinta lagi,
magic that sparks itu pun lenyap pula...
many miracles, dalam bentuk accidentally or serendipity pun
rasanya ikut lenyap...

bukan lah pula
dua jalan setapak yang saling berdampingan tanpa ujung
tapi ini hanya bisa diibaratkan seperti
angin dan laut,
angin yang mampu menyentuh sang laut
tapi laut tak mampu menggapai angin...
sama sekali ga ada manis-manisnyaaaaa !!!

dan setelah itu...
hidup dalam permenungan yang sulit untuk di akhiri.
too many questions.
so many lonely days
so many tears in the nights...
bitter smile
and done!

segala rasa pun akhirnya hilang.

dari bibir pun akan terucap kata-kata penyemangat
yang hanya akan dimengerti oleh diri sendiri...
yang hanya akan di dengar oleh telinga kita sendiri.

... kehilangan kamu,
tak lagi sulit untuk kuhadapi.
kesibukan aku cukup membantu untuk melupakan rasa rindu itu...

... gak cuma kali ini aku kehilangan.
waktu jam tangan ku hilang, aku emang kesel beberapa saat
dan setelah itu aku gak pikirin lagi.

... yang paling sering adalah hilang ingatan !!
(nah lhooo... )
aku jadi pelupa...
lupa nama, lupa janji, lupa "things to do"
dan biasa aja ah... ga jadi masalah besar!
I can handle it.

even when i was losing you,

kehilangan kamu pun akhirnyaaaa, (mencoba untuk gak bohong niiii...)
dan segala alasan nya, ga sulit lagi untuk kuhadapi
walaupun nampak dalam pandangan mu
hal ini sangat sulit kuhadapi...
ya kan?!

(you know me that well, don't you?!)

Kavana - Will you wait for me

2010-08-03T23:51:00.000-07:00

this is for you...
I hope every rain in heaven will sing you this song...

Will You Wait For Me
I need to talk with you again,
why did you go away,
All our time together, just feels like yesterday,
I never thought I'd seen,
a single day without you,
the things we take for granted,we can sometimes lose.
And if I promise not to feel this pain,
Will I see you again,
will I see you again.
Cos time will pass me by, may be I'll never learn to smile,
But i know I will make it through,
if you wait for me.
(won't you wait for me.)
And all the tears I cry,
no matter how I try.
They will never bring you home to me,
won't you wait for me in heaven.
Do you remember how it was,
when we never seemed to care.
The days went by so quickly,
cos I thought you'd always be there.
It's hard to let you go,
though I know that I must try.
I feel like I've been cheated,
cos we never said goodbye.
And if I promise not to feel this pain,
Will I see you again.
Cos I miss you so,
and I need to know,
Will you wait for me.

I really really really miss you...

my tears

2010-08-03T23:44:00.000-07:00

they told me
that you already gone away...
go to a faraway land
when I can no longer see you
nor hear your voice...
these river of tears
won't bring you back
thousand of prayers will have no answer,
and that wings you gave me
just a mere wings...
they can't fly anymore.

and we've never say goodbye...

Written in the Stars

I am here to tell you we can never meet again
Simple really, isn't it, a word or two and then
A lifetime of not knowing where or how or why or when
You think of me or speak of me or wonder what befell
The someone you once loved so long ago so well

Never wonder what I'll feel as living shuffles by
You don't have to ask me and I need not reply
Every moment of my life from now until I die
I will think or dream of you and fail to understand
How a perfect love can be confounded out of hand

Is it written in the stars
Are we paying for some crime
Is that all that we are good for
Just a stretch of mortal time

Is this God's experiment
In which we have no say
In which we're given paradise
But only for a day

Nothing can be altered, there is nothing to decide
No escape, no change of heart, no anyplace to hide
You are all I'll ever want, but this I am denied
Sometimes in my darkest thoughts, I wish I'd never learned
What it is to be in love and have that love returned

I shout your name again dear...
I shout it out
but you can not hear me anymore

I spread my arms
just to hold you once again
but it's just an empty air ...

do you know how long my heart cried for you?
will it written in the stars,
and you will read it up there...?

Not mine to keep

2010-08-02T23:40:00.000-07:00

Dicintai.

...adalah hal yang paling di inginkan oleh setiap manusia normal.
bahkan orang gila sekalipun.
kalo psikopat, ga tau deh !!

tapi kisah yang satu ini
apakah termasuk hal yang kita inginkan dalam hal mencintai...?!

...dalam segala senyum dan kesibukan kerja
di saat segala upaya untuk membalut luka hati,
dan mengeringkan segala airmata,
di saat hati sedang belajar untuk bangkit dari segala
kekecewaan dan loneliness yang tak berujung,
entah gimana awalnya,
hadirlah sosok orang itu.

dengan segala nilai lebih yang dia miliki,
he's smart
he's cool
he's wise
and goodlooking, ofcourse...
satu kemasan dalam paket manusia menyenangkan,
yang ga semua orang bisa miliki.
so...
what a lucky me, right?!
to meet such person like that...

apakah ini jawaban doa?!
tak pernah bosan berdoa dan meminta,
kiranya Big Boss, my Dear Lord, berkenan
memberikan penghiburan untuk menyembuhkan segala luka hati,
mungkinkah ini salah satu jawabannya?!

never thought before,
it never cross my mind at all,
that the perfect person would fall in love with me...
kenal sama orang seperti dia aja
dah jadi suatu penghiburan tersendiri!!
apalagi sampe di jatuhi cinta olehnya !!!!

Cupid yang bego,
atau it's just a lucky me?!

happy happy happy... just happy !!!!

happy for a while.

even though that love could made me fly to the sky,
and gave me the happy wings which I never had before,
I must go back to the ground
segera...!!!

this happiness is just for a while.
do you know why?!
because the love that he offered,
belongs to Someone else.
I can not fight for it
I'm powerless.

walaupun dia memaksa,
memohon...
agar aku mencintai dengan caranya mencintaiku,
tapi tetap ada satu hal yang tak akan pernah berubah,
this is not my rights to decide.
no change of heart.

akupun,
lalu memaksa diriku melangkah mundur
dan merelakan cinta yang begitu indah.
merelakan...
dengan langkah yang tegap,
dan kepala yang tegak.

what should I do?
I'm powerless, dear...
there is Someone
who owned you from the beginning,
loving you more than I do...

and God knows, how much I love you.

my dear sister...
this blog are for you and your man
this song are about every one
who ever felt like this...
and been through this...
like we did..

I want to stop

2010-08-01T23:10:00.000-07:00

I want to stop
and relearn about everything
I want to stop
and recall my feelings back
I want to stop
and tied the hands of time
I want to stop
and dry all the falling tears
I want to stop
all the meaning of your presence
I want to stop
and change my heart...

Try harder

2010-07-22T22:37:00.000-07:00

Senyum manis,
Becanda kanan kiri… intinya, cheer up your self!
Tapi tetep aja ya, yang namanya bête ga bisa ilang gitu aja.
Bener-bener deh kayak jerawat, mau di gosok pake amplas no 1 pun
Ga bakal ilang!! Heheheheh… ( emangnya kayuuu ?!)

Akhirnya, memilih untuk tetap diam
Merasakan sepi dan bergelut melawan rasa marah.
Marah ?!
Ah engga lah ini bukan rasa marah…
Hanya kecewa.
Mana sanggup marah sama orang yang begitu melekat di hati?!
Rasa kecewa itu pun hanya sekedar lewat
Karena yang ada sekarang,
hanya ingin maafin dia,
hanya ingin peluk dia erat-erat.
… dan segala kecewa itu pun pasti ilang.
Cukuplah pelukan itu dibalas pelukan yang lebih hangat
And do you know what?!
Pelukan itu mampu menjadi penghiburan yang luar biasa
dan menguatkan hati .

kalau hati mampu bahagia,
rasanya segala masalah pun akan mampu teratasi.
Segala kekecewaan pun akan dengan mudah terhapuskan.

Hold Me Thrill Me Kiss Me - Gloria Estefan

Hold me, hold me
Never let me go until you've told me, told me
What I want to know and then just hold me, hold me
Make me tell you I'm in love with you

Thrill me, thrill me
Walk me down the lane where shadows will be, will be
Hiding lovers just the same as we'll be, we'll be
When you make me tell you I love you

They told me be sensible with your new love
Don't be fooled thinking this is the last you'll find
But they never stood in the dark with you love
When you take me in your arms and drive me slowly
Out of my mind

Kiss me, kiss me
And when you do I'll know that you will miss me, miss me
If we ever say I do, so kiss me, kiss me
Make me tell you I'm in love with you

Kiss me, Kiss me
And when you do I'll know that you will miss me, miss me
If we ever say I do, so kiss me, kiss me
Make me tell you I'm in love with you

Never, never, never let me go

the melody guy

2010-07-20T22:01:00.000-07:00

here's for you...

Now and Forever - Carole King (Tradução)

it's such a beautiful song
i knew this song since 20 years ago
and still
it melt me away...

unspoken

2010-07-20T17:03:00.000-07:00

bukan love at first sight...
juga bukan love at second sight.

it was just the sweet voice,
the sweet sound of his guitar,
playing the melody that melt me to the deep heart...
stole my soul away
and all the love songs I have ever heard.

a friend call it Serendipity
but I call it a blessing.
it's a such good thing to know
that there's someone
like you.

and you gave me this song...

Now And Forever
- carole king-

Now and forever, you are a part of me
And the memory cuts like a knife
Didn't we find the ecstasy, didn't we share the daylight
When you walked into my life

Now and forever, I'll remember
All the promises still unbroken
And think about all the words between us
That never needed to be spoken

We had a moment, just one moment
That will last beyond a dream, beyond a lifetime
We are the lucky ones
Some people never get to do all we got to do
Now and forever, I will always think of you

Didn't we come together, didn't we live together
Didn't we cry together
Didn't we play together, didn't we love together
And together we lit up the world

I miss the tears, I miss the laughter
I miss the day we met and all that followed after
Sometimes I wish I could always be with you
The way we used to do
Now and forever, I will always think of you
Now and forever, I will always be with you

thank you...
I will keep it just for me
and can't wait for another love song
where we can sing together again
with another heartbeat
another touch ...

I want you.

2010-07-14T21:47:00.000-07:00

it doesn't happen to me everyday...
perasaan yang gak karuan kayak gini.

sekuat tenaga bikin benteng di sekeliling hati,
yakin dengan penuh percaya diri bahwa benteng yang tinggi itu
sangguuuuupppp jagain hati yang rapuh.
it's so easy to say move on...
and let go...

I have enough playing games with my mind
and stop all the feelings that killings my soul

it's hurting me, just to find out that
I can't stop my self from wanting

I can't make my self stop waiting.

I can't make my self stop thinking of so many things
which always be out of my reach...

my mind always search for it,
something that would never exist...
though i realize
no matter how hard I try
I can't make you love me.

and today,
this song came up
you sent me this song...
it lyrics are so us.

I can't believe that tears could rollings down my face.

the song is playing now,
...and I really really really want you.

I want to run to you
to hold you once...
just once.

then I promise
to let the feelings go,
as you want it to be.

I wan to give it all
by Air Supply

Here I am again
I've come to see you smile
I know you understand
I have to say again
It's only for a while

And still you're always here
Just waiting for my call
I wish I knew a way
To give more than I do
I want to give it all

It doesn't happen every day
But it happened to me once before
Those early years I threw away
Now I only have to hear your voice
To make me feel so sure
That your love is why
I want to give it all

Don't the minutes fly
And hours just seem so few
With days apart so long
It's hard to spend my time
When I'm so far from you

And still you're always here
Just waiting for my call
I wish I knew a way
To give more than I do
I want to give it all

It doesn't happen every day
But it happened to me once before
Those early years I threw away
Now I only have to hear your voice
To make me feel so sure
That your love is why
I want to give it all

I do,
want to hold you
once in my life.

Look What You've Done to Me !!!!

2010-07-07T21:53:00.000-07:00

remembering someone out there...
someone who always share his morning with me
though it was just a small bite of his life...

he was my morning,
my noon
and my night...

he was there for a moment
he took me higher than I have ever been...
then,
he took me back
to the ground again...

someone older

2010-06-24T18:28:00.000-07:00

butuh someone older ?!

kalo gue butuh!! banget...
siapapun dia orangnya bisa menjadi your someone older.
bukan karena umurnya yang sudah tuwek
dan berwujud mbah-mbah gitu lho!!!
tapi...
karena dia bisa kasih pandangan
kasih solusi objektif.

orang yang jam terbang nya tinggi pun bisa di jadikan
that someone older...

gue punya tuh satu !
(hihihiih... kayak ngomongin bolpen aja yah..)
kami saling menyebut satu sama lain sebagai soulmate (halah..)
yaaaaa... pas aja gitu!
dia adalah remyanodumas dalam wujudnya
dan remyanodumas adalah wujudnya dalam kemasan bodynya !!!
ga percaya...?!

pernah denger lagu "when you say nothing at all" ?!
itu bener kejadian.

kami saling tau, apa yang sedang dipikirkan oleh satu sama lain...
gue begitu hafal nada suaranya...
apakah dia lagi badmood
lagi madly in love
lagi marah
even saat dia lagi merasa tertipu puuuunnn... gue tau.

begitu juga dengan dia pada diriku.
gue nelfon, dengan nada suara yang riang
(walopun sebenernya hati sedang galaw dan butuh curhat... )
kepura-puraan gue itu... dia tau.

dia bukanlah orang yang akan menghakimi kegodohan gue
dia juga ga akan menasehati gue dengan kata-kata
yang sok bijak...
karena dia tau, mungkin someday
dia akan melakukan hal yang sama salahnya...
dan dia adalah orang yang bisa bikin gue brani
mengakui kesalahan terfatal dalam hidup gue.

that's why i called my someone older
dia ada buat gue,
bukan untuk sok-sok nasehatin
... karena dia tau, gue ga butuh solusi dari dia
dia ngerti bahwa gue dah tau solusi masalah gue tuh apa

dia akan bertindak sebagai
pendengar yang terbaik,
di saat tidak ada satupun yang mampu untuk mendengarkan.

dan dia tidak akan lelah
meyakinkan gue untuk bertindak sesuai dengan yang gue yakinin,
walaupun tidak sesuai dengan kata hati gue.

he will always be my voice when i could not speak
he will always be my heart when i could not feel
he will always be my mind when i could not think

he will always be my someone older...

in silence...

2010-06-22T18:12:00.000-07:00

pernah merencanakan untuk jatuh cinta ?!

hahahahahhaha.... nah lho !!
apakah jatuh cinta itu bisa di jadikan suatu rencana?!
atau...
it's just happenend ?!

I was in love, once...
and it was out of my plans.
never cross in my mind,
ga pernah nyangka juga that i will fell soooooo... damn deep !!!

it was just another friendship that i made...
gue kan suka banget punya temen baruuu... apalagi yang 'klik banget.

at first...
it was just common talks, all in general...
ngobrol apa aja nyambung.
dan dia bukan tipe yang "sok nyambung-nyambungin"
emang dia begitu pintar !!! hahahah

yep yep yepppp...
smart guy is what i like most !!!
dan tanpa sadar
he was already occupied my mind.

gue ga rencana ...
ga ada sedikitpun niat...
tapi
he was there
becoming my mornings
my noons...
my nights.

and he came to my heart in silence.

i was never expecting him to fill my empty space.
i was never expecting,
that he would be the one who could bring back my smile...
he used to greet my soul with just mere words.
for a moment,
i really really thought that i could fly!

and...
when i got back to the ground
i found that
he was just a dream.
a sweet reality which never be mine.

i could only watched him from a distance
tried hard to hold the feelings.
tried hard to face the time
while my heart was so painfully forgetting him...

smakin mencoba untuk lupa, malah semakin menyakitkan...

love takes time to heal...
when you're hurting too much.

can't take this, charl...

2010-06-21T23:26:00.000-07:00

I wish i could say to you..
"... Don’t turn away from me! "
would you look into my eyes...

all is gone
all my world is just blur in white

all questions are spinning in my head...
asking why have you given up on me?
You did that so easily...

... but to me it was so difficult.

From the very start...
We had a love that shouldn’t have been started
a love that shouldn't have grown...

My tears are mixed with wishes...
and it hurts to know
that I can’t put more of myself into you

I shout to my self...
wishing for you...
that you would never disappear from my life
don't you know that you are my light ?

If you leave...
don’t forget that it will all disappear...

I smile whenever I think of you,
though it becomes so hard on me

I cry whenever I think of you
and now...

I’m scared of everything.

my morning

2010-06-21T18:13:00.001-07:00

pernah ga,
suatu hari bangun dalam keadaan males yang luar biasa?
(tidak ada maksud untuk tidak bersyukur lho... )

bertanya-tanya...
bakal ada apa ya hari ini...?
bakal ketemu siapakah...
akan semenarik apakah hari ini...
atau datar dalam grafik rutinitas yang seperti biasanya.. ?!

kalo kalian tanya, " how about me " the writer, heheheheh...
tentunyaaaaa... i got so many things from every morning...!!!

dari yang mendebarkan sampe yang paling menyebalkan pun ada !!

The Charlie, the one which i mentioned in previous blogs,
he was my daylight.
you will find some unusual things to imagine this
but this was my way of thinking...
he brought thousands of miracles...

in such way, just like a drug.

you won't believe me if I'm saying...
how strange yet wonderful my feeling was !

although i know...
i realize it won't be long...
but
i will taste it while it last
though it was just
a hollow feeling...

hatiku.

2010-06-09T23:11:00.000-07:00

hatiku tak pernah berdusta.
di setiap sudutnya selalu ungkapkan mimpi jiwaku...
saat rindu terbangun, aku terhenyak oleh bayangnya,
ku diam.

nyata kini ku tersadar,
rinduku masih menunggunya.

dia...
dia yang dulu ada, melebur dalam tiap mimpiku,
menari dalam tiap hasratku.

hatiku tak akan berdusta.
saat duka mengayun ,
hatiku kan yakinkan jiwaku tuk tersadar.

walau tiap rasa adalah nyata,
walau tiap detaknya adalah nafasku,
walau rinduku masih menunggunya,

ku tau,
dia hanya sesaat.

terimakasih,
embun yang kau berikan setiap pagi
adalah semangat bagi hatiku.

for you Charlie

2010-06-08T17:21:00.000-07:00

Never

i won't dare to say
the words that Juliet have said to Romeo
i won't try to raise my courage just to make you see
i won't let my feeling show,
it would not change anything.
i won't dare to fall in love with you
i only want to keep my love
inside my heart.

can not say how i feel,
it could melt my dreams away...
it could be worst !

speak softly love...

2010-06-06T20:08:00.000-07:00

...speak softly love,
so no one hears us but the sky...

jadi inget waktu Jhonny Corleone lagi kabur dan ngumpet di pulau sicilia,
gara-gara jadi buron polisi di Amrik
(nonton Godfather Trilogy deh...jadi lu kagak roaming gituuuu... !!! )
nah... pas si Jhon ini lagi jalan-jalan di kampung sicilia itu
siang hari bolong, lagi terik-teriknya...
eeehhh...
ketemu lah dia dengan si cewek cantik ini, Apollonia namanya...
bagaikan di sambar petir di siang hari,
dia langsung jatuh cinta pada pandangan pertama!!!
trus married deh !!

sebetulnya...
ada gak sih love at first sight itu?!
real gak sih?

heran juga saat mendengar kisah bahwa ada tuh
orang yang rela "do anything to get their someone"
begging begging down on knees...
hanya gara-gara menurutnya, he/she is the one!!!
" i knew it from the very start...!! "

yaaaeeeeyaaalaaahh... orangnya setampan ari wibowo !!!
cantik dan sexy kayak vokalisnya pussy cat dolls !!
jelaslah lu bakal bilang
OMG, aku cinta pada pandangan pertamaaaa... !!!

apakah betul
semua hanya rekayasa pandangan mata.
mata lu mengelabui hati !!

buat gue...
cinta itu datangnya diam-diam, kadang malah kita gak nyadar
bahwa tuh orang adalah penghuni tetap di pikiran lu, dan
penghuni tetap di hati lu juga!!

sekali lagi gue ingatkan ya friends...
LOVE STARTS FROM SIMPLE THINGS

kisah cinta si cowok mafia nan ganteng di lagu speak softly love :

Speak softly, love and hold me warm against your heart
I feel your words, the tender trembling moments start
We’re in a world, our very own
Sharing a love that only few have ever known

...i feel your words,
that only few have ever known!

kayak jerawat ya?! gak terduga banget kapan datengnya.
quiet different with when you fart...
sometimes you already knew when will you gonna fart, right?!

Love doesn't come in a minute
sometimes it doesn't come at all...

well, that's about what i feel...
that was about, Jhonny Corleone felt...

and you ?!

a Charlie.

2010-05-26T23:35:00.000-07:00

menikmati setiap pagi...
terlebih saat buka mata, bangun subuh-subuh

kalo kata Jipani temen gue,
"cuma kita kok yang aneh dan bangun sepagi ini..."

hahahah... ratu kutilang bernyanyi !!
tapi gue sih hepi aja, walopun sesekali suntuk.
karena sekarang gue punya temen baru...
not that new siiiyy...
tapi dia nemenin gue tiap jam 6 pagi gue brangkat kerja
kasih semangat dengan sms yang full gasoline untuk
mesin di hati dan di pikiran gue
... good morning Angel...

hahahaha... good morning Charliiiiiihhh... !!!

he told me today, that...
gue harus meluangkan waktu utnuk mengosongkan kotak-kotak
yang gue bikin dalam hati gue.

gue bilang, "kalo dikosongkan, gue khawatir ruang hampanya akan makin nampak"
tau gak, di dalam hati tuh ada ruang hampa.
sempet beberapa waktu yang lalu
hampa nya udah bikin gue kayak robot !! tak berjiwa.

tapi dia bilang,
ga akan kosong koq... kalo kosong pun, "Who is in your soul must be?"
naaaaahh...
pertanyaan ini niiiihhh... yang dah bikin gue tergebok !!!
hahahahah...

then I know the answer.

do you?!

do you know who it will be fill up your soul ?!

Charlie...
thankyou.

No More Cloudy Days - The Eagles

Sitting by a foggy window
Staring at the pouring rain
Falling down like lonely teardrops
Memories of love in vain

These cloudy days, make you wanna cry
It breaks your heart when someone leaves and you don’t know why

I can see that you’ve been hurting, baby I’ve been lonely too
I’ve been out here lost and searching, looking for a girl like you
Now I believe the sun is gonna shine
Don’t you be afraid to love again, put your hand in mine…

Baby, I would never make you cry
I would never make you blue
I would never let you down
I would never be untrue

I know a place where we can go where true love always stays
There’s no more stormy nights, no more cloudy days

I believe in second chances
I believe in angels, too
I believe in new romances
Baby, I believe in you
These cloudy days are coming to an end
And you don’t have to be afraid to fall in love again

Baby, I would never make you cry
I would never make you blue
I would never turn away
I would never be untrue
I know a place where we can go where true love always stays
There’s no more stormy nights, no more cloudy days

a friend in need

2010-05-26T23:17:00.000-07:00

so surprise...
diantara sikapnya yang selama ini diam dan nampak ga perduli,
ternyata dia adalah a best friend in need.

"A friend is one who walks in when others walk out"
-Walter Winchell

my friend, she said lots of things last night.
yang intinya adalah dia kecewa karena mental tempe gue
saat menghadapi mulut-mulut comel yang menyebarkan berita negatif
tentang gue.

dan teman yang lainnya,
mengirimkan semangat yang tidak membuat hati gue kering
yang slalu menyapa gue tiap pagi and calling me .. Angel.
maksudnya dia sih film charlie angels... )

sepanjang taun 2009, berita-berita itu dah bikin gue terpuruk
terlebih setelah gue tau, siapa yang menyebarkannya,
seseorang yang tidak pernah terlintas dalam pikiran gue bahwa dia
akan tega berbuat itu sama gue... seorang yang mengaku teman !
menciptakan reputasi negatif atas diri gue...
menghakimi perilaku gue seolah-olah dialah malaikat kebajikan.

...dan gue diemin hal ini selama 2 taun.
menahan diri untuk tidak "meledak" dan menahan diri
untuk tidak mempermalukannya.
even now, they're already made up stories to kill my character
among new people I've just met.

and last new year,
i decided to lift my head up.
become the new me.
I really don't care what they're talking about behind my back.

saat mereka tidak sengaja membaca blogs yang gue tulis pun,
mereka dengan bodohnya membaca dan menyalah artikan kisah di dalamnya !!!
OMG, masih ada yang orang-orang kuper yang salah
me resume blogs gue?!! hahahahahha...

well...
to a dear friend Clara, here's a song for you.
thankyou for being my a friend
who can see through my weaknesses and strength.
kalo kata Fergie... Big Girls don't cry...

...But Ive got to get a move on with my life
Its time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry...

and to my other friend, Charlie...
I'm able to wipe away those cloudy days
and I won't losing my soul
because I believe in second chances
I believe in angels too
and ofcourse, I believe in new romances... (xixixi...)
thankyou..

Broken

2010-05-11T23:32:00.000-07:00

udah tau kan. bahwa kalo kita punya niat sayang sama seseorang,
berarti kita juga harus siap dengan segala hal-hal yang membuat patah hati?!
(kalo hal-hal menyenangkannya sih ga usah gue bahas di sini yah...)

dan herannya, ada moment tertentu di mana kita punya kekuatan untuk lebih sabar.
hahahahha... padahal menurut track record, level egois kita sudah overload!!!
tapi ya itu dia,

kekuatan untuk memaafkan...
salah satu hal yang sangat sangat sulit didapatkan akhir-akhir ini.
bahkan untuk memaafkan diri sendiri pun udah susah
apalagi untuk mafin orang lain.
bener ga?!

melihat orang yang kita sayang berulang kali bikin kita sedih
bikin kita kesel
bikin hati kita sakiiiiiitttt...
tapi kok kita masih sanggup maafin dia.

mmhhh... mungkin juga ada pertentangan ya disini.
antara hati dan logika.
logika sudah sejak lama ingin memaki dirinya,
tapi hati ga sanggup kalo harus menyakiti dia
dengan kata-kata yang keluar dari mulut kita.
jadi gimana dong?
mana yang harus kita dengerin...
hati atau logika?

katanya....
kalo hareee geneeee masih pake hati,
"mati aje lu..."

yah akhirnya mentok juga sama satu keputusan
yang kurang pas untuk kedua belah pihak.

i decided to find my own happiness,
to create my own joy...
survive in my comfort zone.

pernah ada yang bilang gini...
" ... sakit hati gue sama lu itu, ibaratnya
menancapkan paku di sebongkah kayu... dan pada saat paku itu sudah di cabut,
apakah bekas paku nya masih ada? jelas masih...
mau di dempul di tambal gimanapun caranya, masih bakal ada bekasnya...
itulah, sakit yang pernah lu bikin di hati gue... ga akan pernah ilang.
seperti lubang paku di kayu itu... "

anjriiiiiiit...
mau ngilang dari hadapannya saat itu juga!!!
akhirnya...
permintaan maaf pun terasa kelu di lidah gue.
tapi dia bilang,
" sudah termaafkan, di hari ke-3 kamu menyakiti aku... "

hati kah yang memaafkan gue?
atau logikanya?

So Close

2010-04-26T23:49:00.000-07:00

pernahkah merasa...
bahwa orang yang kita sayang terasa jauuuuuuhhh...
padahal dia lagi duduk depan kita
padahal dia lagi pegang tangan kita...

pernahkah merasa bahwa
semua kata-kata manis itu hanya sekedar kata-kata belaka ?!

pernahkah merasa bahwa
hanya untuk menyayangi seseorang saja rasanya harus meneteskan air mata... ?!
harus siap menerima sakit hati...
yup...
berani menyayangi seseorang, berarti
siap untuk merasa sakit hati dalam berbagai cara...
dan siap juga
untuk kehilangan.

..karena pada saat kita sudah mulai menyayangi seseorang,
di saat itu juga kita tau
apa yang namanya...
kesepian
dan kangen...

kita jadi mendadak rela melakukan hal-hal
yang gak biasa kita lakukan...

One (OST Friends) - Lee So Jung

2010-04-18T23:25:00.000-07:00

film ini keren banget menurut gue sih...
begitupula soundtrack nya...
this is what i called
sweet song.
hear the lyrics..

at First sight...

2010-04-18T19:50:00.000-07:00

sering banget ya, kita ketemu sama bermacam-macam orang...
eh bukan sering lagi deng itu mah...
setiap hari juga ketemu orang baru, ya kan?!
di angkot, di tempat kerja, di tempat kita berhobby,
atau di tempat kita begaol, xixixixix...

dan...
nyadar gak, kalo di antara tempat-tempat yang sering kita datengin itu,
maybe... might be... ada seseorang yang selalu memperhatikan kita... aaw..!!
hahhahaha... bukan dalam konteks "sesama jenis" lho ya !!!!

entah dia adalah seseorang dengan tipe fisik yang lo suka atau bukan,
tetep aja you have a secret admire...!!!
aaahhh... gue suka banget dengan kata-kata itu...

mungkin orang itu, adalah orang yang selama ini
rajin menyapa kita...
senyum manis tiap kali ketemu muka...
kerap kali punya kata-kata hanya untuk berbasa-basi dengan manis...
atau mungkiiiiinnn, pada saat dia ga ada di deket kita pun,
matanya tetep merhatiin kita dari jauh...
(eh tapi ini bukan soal memata-matai ya !!!)

...dan yang lebih sweet lagi,
kalo kita ga ada disana, atau ga dateng seperti biasanya ke tempat itu,
dia akan nanyain kemana kah kita
kepada orang-orang yang mungkin aja kenal kita juga!
hahahahah... trust me, ada banget tuih orang-orang yang kayak gitu.
(sekali lagi gue tekankan, kejadian ini tidak ada hubungan nya sedikitpun dengan aktifitas para psikopat ya.... )

tapi jangan salahkan ya, kalo dia mungkin
ga bakal nyamperin lu untuk pedekate sekarang...
dan mungkin dia juga ga bakal ngajakin lu hang out bareng,
or ask for a date.

kalo ditanya, apa alasannya sampe dia ga brani...?!
well, ask your self...
what kind of person are you?
sangat bawel kah anda? heheheh... kan katanya orang bawel tuh annoying sekali, jadi mendingan dia cukup menatap lu aja dari kejauhan...
jutek kah wajahmu, dengan segala bentuk piso lipet nanceb di mulut dan mata,
alias galak ?!
atau tipe arogan kah kamu?! dagu diangkat ke atas, melirik hanya dengan sudut mata... (ikh... syerem ah..)

... atau, sudah cukup ramahkah kamu, mudah menyapa tiap orang
yang kamu kenal tanpa harus disapa duluan?!
sudah cukup manis kah senyum mu ?!
dan sudah punya pasangan kah kamu?!
hahahahahah...
hayooo hayooo hayoooo...!!!

jawab sendiri ya...
yang pasti, itu bakalan sweet banget
saat orang itu akhirnya bener-bener nyamperin kita,
hanya untuk ngobrol basa basi ma kita...
asal lu jangan ke ge-er an aja !!!!

at the end...
kita akan dibuat suka sama orang itu (tanpa sadar... dan bukan pelet),
bukan dari fisiknya yang cuma biasa-biasa aja
bukan dari wajahnya yang, ...mmmhhh, well, kurang ganteng ah...
tapiiiii...
kharisma nya dia (wew.. istilahnya gini amat sih!!)
cara dia bicara sama kita,
pola pikirnya yang dewasa and smart,
humoris dan nyambung di ajak ngobrol apa aja...
eh... tau-tau dah 2 jam aja lu ngobrol ma dia ga kerasa, saking serunya !!!

dan besok-besoknya,
lu yang nyariin dia deh karena pengen ngobrol-ngobrol lagi !!!
xixixixixi... gotcha !!!

enjoy it, friends...

Tukangpoto

2010-03-28T20:14:00.000-07:00

iya sih emang...
status gue buat dia.

tapi satu hal yang bikin gue kaget... kok dia tau ya?
padahal gue dah canggih banget tuh ga nyebutin nama dia satu huruf pun
dan gue pun ga pernah tuh nyinggung soal dia di status manapun...
tapi, dia terlanjur dah ge-er aja !!!
hahahahahaa...
mati gaya dah gue !!!

wahai tukang poto...
lu tuh ya, orang dengan gengsi setinggi monas.
which is mean... ego lu lebih tinggi dari body lu !!!
lu ga doyan di cuekin, tapi lu rajin banget nyuekin gue.
tiap hari, tiiiaaap hari... lu nge-cek status FB gue, what for?!
mau lu apa sih?

udah lah...
gue sekarang mau menyadarkan pikiran gue bahwa,
orang kayak lu cuma mau jadi pusat perhatian.
ga layak lah dipikirin ...oleh siapapun !!!

i hate you

2010-03-28T19:53:00.000-07:00

Duh…
Masih kesel rasanya sama diri sendiri.
Dah tau banget bahwa kita ga boleh ngarepin oranglaen harus seperti yang kita mau,
Tapi gimana dong kalo can’t help it ?!
Menyapa orang yang lagi bikin kita kecewa itu, sebenernya beraaaaaaatt dan bukan hal yang mudah..
Tapi selalu saja tiada henti menasehati diri sendiri bahwa harus belajar mengampuni.
You know kan, mengampuni itu bukan hal mudah… hal seperti ini membutuhkan kerelaan hati !
Berkali-kali juga bilang ma diri sendiri, supaya ga perlulah ngarepin timbal balik kalo sikap baik kita
Tidak ditanggapi dengan baik juga…
Beberapa kali say hi di YM, ditanggapi dengan datar, ga biasanya…
SMS ga di bales-bales…
Temen-temen bilang. “ grow up please… udah lah cuekin aja…”
Tapi ga segampang itu yah ternyata menjadib dewasa secara mental…
Akhirnya I decided… untuk ngediemin dia.
Diemin diemin dan diemin…
Setelah 2 minggu gue diemin… eh taunya dia yang say hai duluan… !!!
Hahahahahha…. Monyed bener tuh orang !!!
Ga rela dicuekin rupanya dia.
Gotcha… !!!!

Menunggu...

2010-02-21T22:28:00.000-08:00

entah kenapa...
baru nyadar hari ini, ternyata gue punya satu sifat yang
aarrgh... gak membuat diri gue sendiri nyaman !!!

baru saja membahasnya dengan seseorang dengan sifat yang sama.
mmmh... gue ini adalah orang yang seneng dikabarin.
kata temen gue,

"bagi gue ngabarin is part of respect"

emang sih...
secara gue ini orangnya kan kalo chat atau sms, apalagi kalo lagi antusias terhadap sesuatu... wuuiiihhh...
bisa panjang lebar dah dalam nyari kabar dan memberi kabar!
terlebih sama orang yang kita sayang...
maunya kalo kita nanya kabar, harus segera ditanggapi.

ujung-ujungnya jadi lebay kan... merasa di cuekin, di abaikan lah...
aih ga asik banget jadinya...
gedeg sendiri deh.

padahal udah tau pasti... ga boleh terlalu ngarep...!!!
akhirnya...
berusaha dan belajar cuek...
ga peduli dan ga mau mikirin...

jadi inget lagunya Cake

Never There

I need your arms around me,
I need to feel your touch.

I need your understanding,
I need your love so much.

You tell me that you love me so,
You tell me that you care,
But when I need you,
(Baby) Baby (Your never there).

On the phone long, long distance,
Always through such strong resistance,
And first you say your to busy,
I wonder if you even miss me.

(CHORUS)
Never there,
You're never there,
You're never, ever, ever, ever there.
(Hey!)

A golden bird that flies away,
A candle stickled flame, (Hey!)
To think I held you yesterday,
Your love was just a game.
(Twice)

You tell me that you love me so,
You tell me that you care,
But when I need you, (baby)
Baby...

Take the time to get to know me,
If you want me why can't you just show me,
We're always on this roller coaster,
If you want me why don't you get closer.

(Chorus Twice)

(Hey!)
OOOOOOOhhhhh Ha!!!
Yeaaaaaa! Ho!

hahahahhaha... cocok ga ?!

sayonara camera man...

2010-02-21T18:22:00.000-08:00

dah beberapa minggu ini, mmmhh...sejak januari sih..,
status gue di FB selalu tentang si camera man.
hehehehehe...
ada yang bilang, " jijay lu, melow banget sih..."
ada juga yang nanya-nanya penasaran...
" siapa sih camera man? "
" siapa sih manusia durjana itu? "
" yang mana sih oknum nya?"

aw aw awh...
ga mungkin lah gue critain siapa dia.
tapi intinya sih, dengan kehadiran orang itu gue jadi tau bahwa ada juga ya manusia dengan "bentukan" kayak dia.

I've met sooooo many people in my life...
dan di usia yang sudah sangat sangat cukup matang, masih ada toh orang dengan kepribadian kayak dia !!! (in negative way tentunya )
beeuuuuhh...emosi bener gue ya!!!! hahahahah....!!!

ya gitu lah friends...
when you judge people, you don't have time to love them.
that's a quote from Mother Theresa.
tapi emang bener kok !
kalo kita keburu menilai orang lain sesuai dengan mind set kita sendiri,
kita ga akan bisa nemuin hal positif dari orang itu...
buat kita pokoknya dari mulai ujung rambut sampe ujung kaki,
kita keburu sebel ma dia !!!

woooooooww....!
subjektif sekali kan itu namanya... iya kan?!
padahal kita juga ga suka kalo ada orang ga kenal ma kita,
ujug-ujug pasang muka kayak p*ntat ayam sama kita...
idiiiiiihhh...

sekali lagi...
cukup deh gue tau, bahwa orang se hebat dan se pintar dia,
punya pola pikir yang sempit.
kok ga seimbang ya sama intelektualitas dan lingkup pergaulannya...
sayang banget!!

ya gue merasa, dia bersikap gak fair aja sama gue...

so, I've decided to let him go...
I would not keep him as a friend.
emang sih... suka-suka dia lah mau menilai gue seperti apa, hak dia toh ?!
tapi buat gue, aura pertemanan di antara kita dah ga nyaman lagi.
bukankah yang namanya teman itu adalah
orang yang bisa membuat kita merasa nyaman ?!
at leat that's what I think about friendship...

so camera man ...
goodbye to you...
I would not spare you my angry face...
I would not ignore your smile...
although it hurts me to remember you in such way...

I don't have any song for your remembrance...
it's only makes frawn to my face.

(...sigh'..)

never realize it..

2010-02-17T22:40:00.000-08:00

diberi sayang...
menerima ungkapan sayang...
adalah hal yang sangat umum terjadi dalam keseharian kita
terlebih sebagai manusia normal yang memiliki keinginan dan kebutuhan.
(kalo ga salah, itu ada di diktat sosiologi kok! hahahahah... kamana atuh jaduuul..!!)

kita tuh ga pernah tau, atau mungkin juga udah tau ya?!
kenapa ada orang sayang ma kita atau perhatiin kita.
dalam hal ini maksudnya adalah person yang ada di luar keluarga, lho ya!!
karena gimana pun juga, tetep aja lah ada saat dimana kita ingin diperhatikan oleh orang lain selain keluarga dan orang terdekat.

dengan gaya yang sok ogah-ogah, di mulut keluar deh omongan
" kenapa ya kok dia perhatian banget ma gue.."
" kenapa ya kok dia sikapnya sweet banget ya sama akyuuuu..."
.... dan sebagainyalah semacam itu.

tapi di hati...jelasss... doyan !!!! hahahaahha...

kita gak ngeh aja, suatu saat...
kita pasti akan kangen sama perhatian itu.

kita cuma doyan aja diperhatiin tapi, belum belajar untuk menghargai perhatian itu. sampai pada suatu masa di mana perhatian itu berhenti.
it happened to me too.

just when someone said that he will be tied up in a marriage...
tanpa sadar, badan langsung lemes dengernya..
tanpa sadar, ada rasa sedih...
ada rasa kecewa.
pengen rasanya buru-buru pergi dari depan dia.
padahal saat itu, gue dah punya cowok juga.

egois ya gue?!
iyalah...

karena dari sekian lama perhatiannya, dan sikap baiknya, gue hanya menanggapi nya dengan angkuh bahwa... masih ada kok yang suka ma gue.

padahal dia beneran sayang tuh...
tanpa sadar, gue menyukai perhatiannya.
dan di saat dia harus menghentikan semuanya
hehehhehe... i left alone.

then I've learned that
(sigh..')
ga boleh menyepelekan perhatian seseorang.
bisa aja perhatian itu tulus...
(dalam hal ini, perhatian dari seorang psikopat adalah pengecualian yah !!!)

ga boleh sok-sok ignore perhatian oranglaen,
nyesel lo entar kalo dia beneran dah ngilang...

lagunya Marc Anthony ini pas banget di bagian reffrainnya, baca deh...

You Sang To Me

Oh...
I just wanted you to comfort me
When I called you late last night you see
I was fallin' into love
Yes, I was crashin' into love
Oh of all the words you sang to me
About life, the truth and being free, yeah
You sang to me, oh how you sang to me

Girl, I live off how you make me feel
So I question all this being real
'Cause I'm not afraid to love
For the first time I'm not afraid of love

Oh, this day seems made for you and me
And you showed me what life needs to be
Yeah, you sang to me, oh you sang to me

All the while you were in front of me I never realized
I just can't believe I didn't see it in your eyes
I didn't see it, I can't believe it
Oh but I feel it
When you sing to me
How I long to hear you sing beneath the clear blue skies
And I promise you this time I'll see it in your eyes
I didn't see it, I can't believe it
Oh but I feel it
When you sing to me

Just to think you live inside of me
I had no idea how this could be
Now I'm crazy for your love
Can't believe I'm crazy for your love
The words you said you sang to me
And you showed me where I wanna be
you sang to me, oh you sang to me

All the while you were in front of me I never realized
I just can't believe I didn't see it in your eyes
I didn't see it, I can't believe it
Oh but I feel it
When you sing to me
How I long to hear you sing beneath the clear blue skies
And I promise you this time I'll see it in your eyes
I didn't see it, I can't believe it
Oh but I feel it
When you sing to me

All the while you were in front of me I never realized
I just can't believe I didn't see it in your eyes
I didn't see it, I can't believe it
Oh but I feel it
When you sing to me
How I long to hear you sing beneath the clear blue skies
And I promise you this time I'll see it in your eyes
I didn't see it, I can't believe it
Oh but I feel it
When you sing to me

All the while you were in front of me I never realized
I just can't believe I didn't see it in your eyes
I didn't see it, I can't believe it
Oh but I feel it
When you sing to me
How I long to hear you sing beneath the clear blue skies
And I promise you this time I'll see it in your eyes
I didn't see it, I can't believe it
Oh but I feel it

Mau nya apa sih?

2010-02-15T22:30:00.000-08:00

my sweet friend...
sekitar seminggu lalu lah, she told me that...
(dengan terjemahan gue sendiri yah... ) " daku sedang merasa tak menentu..."

setelah beberapa pertanyaan yang cukup menginterogasi, akhirnya gue tau
dirinya sedang galaw gara-gara mau move on tapi... someone pull her back lagi !!!
aahhh... ini nih yang namanya damn !!

temanku ini, dia in love... deeply in love
sejak setaun lalu deh kayaknya, dan yang terjadi adalah ada yang Playing for keeps.
damn..

I wish I have a chance to say to him...
at least for him lho ya, to do her a favor gituuuu !!

please tell her when to let go, because she's seems holding on ...
padahal yah...
if he say it's time to move on,
mungkin she will stop holding on...

kenapa sih harus ada kondisi playing for keeps?
kalo udah ga mau, udah ga minat, dan ga bisa berkomitmen,
ya sudahlah... let go let go !!!!
ini sih engga.
if she sudah mulai nampak menjauhi,
eh this guy malah sok sok komen-komen di FB
membahas hal-hal yang sweet for her...
aih.. please deh !!!
kesannya...
ga mau keilangan fans !!! ke laut aje loe, gundul !

sayang...
don't you ever feel stuck and watching history repeating.
move on girl, it's time to move on...

Kissing You
Des'ree

Pride can stand a thousand trials
The strong will never fall
But watching stars without you
My soul cries

Heaving heart is full of pain
Oooh, oooh, the aching
'Cause I'm kissing you, oooh
I'm kissing you, oooh

Touch me deep, pure and true
Give to me forever
'Cause I'm kissing you, oooh
I'm kissing you, oooh

Where are you now
Where are you now
'Cause I'm kissing you
I'm kissing you, oooh

">

16 tahun saja...

2010-02-14T18:35:00.000-08:00

16 taun, bukan waktu yang cukup singkat kan...
bisa dibilang itu adalah kurun waktu yang cukuuuuuuppp lama.
kalo punya anak aja, udah usia ABG tuh !!
slama 16 taun juga gue ga ketemu sama satu orang temen SMP.
hahahahah...., once again, thanks to facebook lah tentunya..!

menurut loe yang lagi baca, apa aja yang bisa terjadi dalam kurun waktu 16 taun??
ah, ada-ada aja....
jangankan 16 taun, lha cuma 1 minggu aja bisa memunculkan banyak hal yang di luar dugaankan?!

16 taun gue ga ketemu sama ni orang ...
one of unforgettable person for me, the nice one.
I only see his face by pictures, on his friendster or facebook...
we do some chats too sometimes.

then...
we met once in a rainy day, and bla.. bla.. bla...
ngobrol lah kita.
ow ow ow, rupanya banyak hal yang sudah terjadi dalam hidup kita masing-masing.
cuma muka, suara dan senyum yang ga berubah.

but, from only a couple hours of conversation and sweet smile that covered his face,
do I have rights to judge him ?!
hmmmm.. .I don't think so.
baru ketemu satu kali, trus mau menilai dirinya..??? duh engga banget deh.

tapi sayangnya, how easily he did that to me.
pengen rasanya I put some curse on him !!! hahahahahha....
jadi kodok, jadi kodok dah !!!
tapi sayangnya....
ini nih yang bikin gue bete sebenernya...

gue ga bisa marah ma dia.
ga bisa benci, even I really want to.

I named him, camera man part two.

but I do have a song for him...

Lucky by jason m'raz .

ft. Colbie Caillat

Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky oh my, baby I'm trying
Yeah I hear you in my dreams
I hear your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Oooohhhhoohhhhohhooohhooohhooohoooh

They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I wait for you I promise you, I will

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music, fell the air
I put a flower in your hair
And though the breeze is through trees ???
Move so pretty you're all I see
Let the world keep spinning round
You hold me right here right now

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Ooooh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

to let go..

2009-02-18T02:00:00.000-08:00

merelakan sesuatu.
it refers to many complicated things that you can't explain with common thoughts.
apalagi pada saat kita lagi sukaaaaaa banget.
weits...
suka banget sama apaan neeeh????

pada saat kita terlalu mendamba akan sesuatu, dan kita mendapatkan nya dengan mudah
mungkin ga bakalan terlalu sakit ya saat sesuatu itu ilang...atau lepas dari tangan kita.
tapi beda critanya kalo kita mendapatkannya dengan suatu usaha, suatu penantian,
suatu pengharapan... beuh dah males deh ngetik nya juga gue nih!!!

yah pokonya gitu deh...lu pada ngarti kan maksudnya???

dalam sebulan ini, ada hal-hal yang harus gue "lepas" dengan rela hati.
entah secara fisik atau psikis... tapi gue harus bisa. It's a must.
kalo ga gitu, gue ga akan bisa langkahin kaki gue lebih lebar...
kalo ga relain, hati gue yang bakal makin tersakiti...orang lain bakal tersakiti juga
iyalah gimana ga sakit, lha jelas keukeuh/ngeyel/ngotot sama maunya sendiri,
tanpa mempertimbangkan kondisi di sekeliling !!!!
egois itu namanya.

kadang ada moment dimana kita harus bener2 nahan diri ya...
nahan perasaan...
mau sakitnya seperti apapun... kalo emang bukan waktunya untuk kita,
kita ga bisa lho sok sok meng-claim yang emang bukan hak kita...

naaah.. pas kan kalo gue bilang.. learn to let go..

It Takes Love by STYX

sometimes it's hard to smile
keep looking back
searching for somebody
who once was in your life
baby let him go now
there'll be something better ahead

it takes love to make love
you can't hide behind your broken heart
it takes love to make love
let the light of another lover shine on you

we all have tears to cry
but there comes a day
to leave your tears behind you
and give your heart
someplace to start
and if you find your way there
there'll be someone waiting for you

it takes love to make love
you can't hide behind your broken heart
it takes love to make love
let the light of another lover shine on you

like a river
that flows
to the sea

don't wait
like a river
flowing down

whoa...hey...ooh...ah...ooh

it takes love to make love
you can't hide behind your broken heart
it takes love to make love
let the light of another lover shine on you
it takes love to make love
never mind the broken heart baby
it takes love to make love
let the light of another lover shine on you

sedih sebenernya...
bukan hal mudah lho "to let go" untuk sebagian orang...
tapi back to the thing, bukan saatnya meng-claim yang bukan untuk kita.
mending sakit hati sekarang,
dari pada menjalani nya denga keesakitan yang terus menerus
mending hentikan sekarang,
daripada terikat oleh kepedihan tanpa ujung...
halah..melow.

Biar Jadi Kenangan...

2009-02-17T02:32:00.000-08:00

kemaren sore...
acara musik di TV tiba-tiba nayangin satu lagu lama, taun 2000an lah...
dan lagu itu liriknya daleeeeeeemm banget !!! buat gue.

nih... baca deh.

Biar Jadi Kenangan by Reza and Masaki Ueda

Tetes airmata ku tak tertahan lagi
Menanti kepastian tentang kita
Kau masih juga bersamanya
Masih mencintainya

Maafkanlah sayangku atas keadaan
Kamu tak pernah jadi kekasihku
Wajahnya selalu terbayang
Saat kau di sisiku

Aku dan kamu takkan tahu
Mengapa kita tak berpisah
Walau kita takkan pernah satu
Biarlah aku menyimpan bayang mu
Dan biarkanlah semua menjadi kenangan
Yang terlukis di dalam hatiku
Meskipun perih namun tetap selalu ada
Di sini

Ku beri segalanya semampunya aku
Meski cinta harus terbagi dua
Mungkin kamu tak pernah tahu
Betapa sakitnya aku

Oh pasti kamu tak pernah tahu
Betapa sakitnya aku

mendadak gue jadi pengen buka-buka buku sakti jaman gue kuliah.
dan gue buka juga tuh buku sakti jaman SMA... ( yang ada tulisan temen-temen juga)

alhasil gue ngakak sendiri bacanya...
wakakakakakaka.... dasar ABG !!!! gue ngebathin dalam hati.
nampak jelas lah dalam tulisan tulisan itu...siapa naksir siapa...
siapa blingsatan karena siapa...
siapa bete sama siapa...
siapa patah hati sama siapa...
dan...siapa jadiansama siapa...

lagaknya...
pada saat kita jatuh hati pada seseorang...
cuma dia yang ada di hati kita..
dan yakin seratus persen dia yang terbaik buat kita !!
yakin seyakin yakinnya...dia lah...the love of my life...
(sampe-sampe, masih tertempel aja tuh kelopak bunga mawar pemberian dari siapapun...!!)

eh padahal, pada sat orang itu bikin kita kecewa...
dan kita try hard to move on...
open our heart to let go...
baru deh kita ngeh " dia ga se-baik itu kok untuk kita"

malah pada saat kita ketemu orang lain lagi...
kita ngalamin perasan blingsatan yang sama juga kayak ke orang terdahulu...
hehehehhe padahal sebelumnya...
dalam kondisi melow...
kita sok yakin "gabakalan deh punya perasaan sedalem itu lagi sama orang laen..."
klise ya?

sekarang pertanyaan gue...
perlu ga sih kita "ngorek-ngorek" recycle bin dan mendapati kembali
mantan kita di masa lalu...
masih dengan ke melow-an yang sama...
dan beryakin-yakin bahwa dia lah the right one buat kita?

kalo gue sih...
recycle bin ga usah di korek-korek dah...
karena terkadang kita tanpa sadar sudah menutup mata dengan
hadirnya seseorang yang lebih tepat di hadapan kita...
jangan liat ke spion mulu doooooong...
realita kan ada di depan...!!!!!
jangan sampe ya ada slogan begini di atas jidat lu
you dont know what you got till its gone

menurut lu gimana?

for the heartache from a friend

2009-02-09T05:37:00.000-08:00

tuuuhhh
ada yang care juga sama kamu...
ga cuma aku kaaannnn....

baca yah...

buat temennya maya..lagu ini juga bisa...cocok banget degh buat berpikir positif...lagunya India Arie
"This Too Shall Pass"

I achieved so much in life
But I’m an amateur in love
My bank account is doing just fine
But my emotions are bankrupt

My body is nice and strong
But my heart is in a million pieces
When the sun is shining so am I
But when the night falls so does my tears

Sometimes the beatings so loud in my heart
That I can barely tell our voices apart
Sometimes the fear is so loud in my head
That I can barely hear what God says

Then I hear a whisper that this too shall pass
I hear the angel’s whisper that this too shall pass
My ancestors whisper that this day one day will be the past
So I walk in faith that this too shall pass

The one that loved me the most
Turned around and hurt me the worse
I’m doing my best to move on
But the pain just keeps singing me songs

My head and my heart are at war
Cause love ain't happening the way I wanted
Feel like I’m about to break down
Can’t hear the light at the end of the tunnel

So I pray for healing in my heart
To be put back together what is torn apart
And I pray for quiet in my head
That I can hear clearly what God says

Then I hear the whisper that this too shall pass
I hear the Angels whisper that this too shall pass
My ancestors whisper that this day will one day be the past
So I walk in faith that this too shall pass

All of sudden I realize
That it only hurts worse to fight it
So I embrace my shadow
And hold on to the morning light

This Too Shall Pass
This Too Shall Pass
This Too Shall Pass
This Too Shall Pass
This Too Shall Pass
This Too Shall Pass
I hear the angels whisper
that trouble don't have to last always
I hear the angels whisper
Even the day after tomorrow will one day be yesterday.
I hear my angels whisper.
I hear my angels whisper.
This too shall pass.

thanks imong...
aku yakin dia pasti sukaaaaaa...
seperti gue juga suka dengan liriknya

heartache

2009-02-09T03:03:00.000-08:00

him .: kalau aku boleh memilih...
tak sudi aku jatuh cinta...
apalagi yang sedalam ini...
karena ternyata cinta itu sengsara, derita dan air mata

it really hurt my feeling to read that word
came from a dear someone...
the one that I really really care

gue dah bilang supaya jangan terlalu berharap pada cinta...
karena cinta bisa melayangkan mu ke angkasa pun menghujam mu ke dasar bumi
sekali saja hatimu retak oleh nya...
tak ada satu pun perekat yang bisa menyatukannya dengan sempurna...

sebenernya gue sebel...
nih orang ngeyel siy...dah gue ingetin supaya hati-hati
eh masih aja nekat dengan bermacam alesan..
tapi apa bisa ya kita "melarang" orang yang lagi kasmaran?
emang bisa ya saat kita lagi jatuh cinta kita melihat segala kekurangan pada dirinya???
jujur sih, kalo lagi madly deeply in love pun gue menjadi orang yang bebal...
yang rasa sesal datangnya bagai hujan samurai dalam hati... euleuh euleuh...!!!

tapiiiii..
seperti tadi gue bilang...
cinta itu bisa bikin kita jadi orang yang sangat sangat sangat bebal...
critanya si pecinta ini...minta saran nih ma kita,
dah dikasih solusi saran panjang lebar ke timur ke barat...
eeehhh teuteup...baliknya ke "maunya" dia...

dan itulaaaahhh... efek lain dari jatuh cinta...
yang tentunya di luar rasa rasa eforia yang sudah umum yaahh..
you ngerti kan yang I maksuuudddd...?!!

memaksakan cinta yang eforia itu utk hidup selamanya di hati kita...
tanpa kita sadar kapasitas hati blum memadai
maksud memadai adalah:
1. adakah ruang yang cukup untuk rasa cemburu seperlunya
2. adakah kesabaran yang extra untuk memahami bahwa dia bersikap ga sesuai kebiasaan kita
3. senyum rela saat menyadari bahwa mantannya punya nilai-nilai positif juga seperti kita
4. siap-siap belajar merangkak saat kita terpaksa terjatuh dari langit-langit eforia cinta
5. belajar dari lagu-lagu cinta tuh bahwa ga semua kisah cinta ever lasting !!!
6. dan pastinyakalo berani jatuh cinta...berarti berani patah hati !!!!! no excuse.
7. jangan ragu pilih teman yang TEPAT untuk dengerin curhat lu, you need that badly.

mmmhhh...enam point itu dulu deh...
apakah lu brani jatuh cinta??
banyak lagi sih kalo mau dijembrengin satu satu....
ga cukup satu postingan inih

dear friend...
kepada siapapun lu jatuh cinta..
dan bagaimanapun rasa itu telah menenggelamkanmu dalam kesakitan
tolong yah catet pake tinta emas...
gue tetep sayang sama lu
dan gue ga akan bilang... " tuuuuuhh kaaaannn, gue bilang juga apaaaa....!!!!!"
gue tau kok, bete banget kalo dikatain gitu...
rasanya dah sakit karena cinta..
eh makin sakit karena temen yang bermulut durjana.
sekali lagi gue bilang... gue gakan ngomong gitu
ingetin yah kalo gue lupa...
supaya mulut ini juga belajar memahami hati yang terluka.... halah.

I love you still.

Bizarre Love Triangle by Frente

Every time I think of you
I get a shot right through into a bolt of blue
It’s no problem of mine but it’s a problem I find
Living a life that I can’t leave behind
There’s no sense in telling me
The wisdom of a fool won’t set you free
But that’s the way that it goes
And it’s what nobody knows
And every day my confusion grows
Every time I see you falling
I get down on my knees and pray
I’m waiting for that final moment
You’ll say the words that I can’t say

I feel fine and I feel good
I feel like I never should
Whenever I get this way, I just don’t know what to say
Why can’t we be ourselves like we were yesterday
I’m not sure what this could mean
I don’t think you’re what you seem
I do admit to myself
That if I hurt someone else
Then we’d never see just what we’re meant to be
Every time I see you falling
I get down on my knees and pray
I’m waiting for that final moment
You’ll say the words that I can’t say

be strong ya ...
I'm here for you kok..
always...

kok flashback mulu???

2009-02-05T03:19:00.002-08:00

iiiiiikkhhhh...
sebenernya sih ga ada maksud lho untuk flesbek mulu...
ini mah cuma mau crita aja..sekalian nostalgia gitcuuuu...
hehehehhehe...
barusan sore, chatting with my old friend, bes pren i hope, if she don't mind...
bahwa... indahnya masa SMA or masa kuliah ga harus ditandai dengan berapa kali lu pacaran..berapa banyak pacar lu saat itu
berapa banyak gebetan...dan mantan lu..!!!
dan ga usah lah di itung-itung berapa banyak pacar ga resmi saat itu....
bwahahahahahah.... ada ya pacar ga resmi???
dulu sih blum ada istilah TTM, cuma adanya HTS (hubungan tanpa status)...

trus apakah kalo lu kagak pernah pacaran trus lu dianggap freak gitu??
nerd gitu??? abnormal kah.. ???
i think don't so ... (*kalo kata firman kinoy...)

yes, lebih tepatnya I don't think so...
happy or not, you are the one who's responsible to create it...
then you have a right to explore that happiness with many ways you like most

does your friend has a right to judge you in which way you have to be happy or unhappy??
just give their f***in mouth shut !!

apakh lu harus jadi cantik dulu untuk bisa disukai banyak orang
dan punya banyak teman ???
apakah dandanan lu harus branded dari ujung rambut sampe ujung kaki supaya mereka mau jadi temen lu?
mmmhhh... jadi inget sepatu Bata gue yah...yang gue tempelin logo merk Benetton...
hanya untuk bikin cewek-cwek matre itu ngelirik sepatu gue... wakakakakkakakaka
lora en isur pasti masih inget ...kikikikikkikikik...

well dear...
life is beautiful it depends dari sisi mana lu mau liatnya...

kalo gue... gue bersyukur karena pernah melewati hari-hari itu sama kalian
isur lora imong cai linda ...
kenapa cuma 5 nama ini?
karena kalian duduknya deket gue laaaahhhh waktu SMA.... gimana sih ?!

...let's sing it babes....!!!

Too Good To Be True by Lauryn Hill

You're just too good to be true
can't take my eyes off of you
you'd be like heaven to touch
I wanna hold you so much
at long last love has arrived
and I thank God I'm alive
you're just too good to be true
can't take my eyes off of you

Pardon  the way that I stare
there's nothing else to compare
the sight of you leaves me weak
there are no words left to speak
but if you feel like I feel
please let me know that it's real
you're just too good to be true
can't take my eyes off of you

chorus:
I need you baby and if it's quite alright
I need you baby to warm the lonely nights
I love you baby, trust in me when I say:ok(its okaay)
Oh pretty baby, don't let me down, I pray
oh pretty baby, now that I've found you, stay
and let me love you,  o baby, let me love you, o baby

You're just too good to be true
can't take my eyes off of you
you'd be like heaven to touch
I wanna hold you so much
at long last love has arrived
and I thank God I'm alive
you're just too good to be true
can't take my eyes off of you

ayooooo nyanyikan dengan lantaaannngg...!!!!

masa SMA ... halah halah..

2009-02-05T02:36:00.000-08:00

karena kecanggihan fesbuk...
(*even gue dah mulai bete ma fesbuk sebenernya)...
gue ketemu lagi sama isur ma lovely gal, linda sukandar, vimal anthony, erik sorensen, ricky perdana, glenn sorensen...mmmhhh siapa lagi yah???
beuh bejibun deh pokonyah.

dan satu halyang gue rindu saat mengingat oang-orang itu adalah...masa-masa SMA !!!!!
hahahahahahha...siapa sih yang mampu menepis indahnya masa-masa di SMA?!!
cihuuuyyyy....

duuuhhh ga nahan deh, rok abu-abu diliet pinggangnya kalo mau gaya...
tapi kalo ada razia bisa secepat kilat diturunin sampe nutupin dengkul...
masih jaman kemeja gombrang...dan gue doyan banget tuh ngancingin kemejanya sampe atas, biar nampak alim lah dikit..ga di cela mulu ma yang laen...
eh sekali waktu apes dah, kena razia...suruh buka jaitan rok yang kependekan..hahahahahha

ada lagunya nih...mau tau ga???
kalo ini lagu nostalgia nya si isur petet...lagu ini tuh original jaman SMA
biat petet tapi dia cantik...

Wonderful by Adam Ant

Did I tell you how much I miss
Your sweet kiss?
Did I tell you I didn't cry?
Well I lied I lie lie lied
Over real over
When I nearly hit the face I loved
So tired of packaging the anger
Always pushing you away

Did I tell you you're wonderful?
I miss you yes I do
Did I tell you that I was wrong?
I was wrong
Cos you're wonderful yeah

Did I tell you how much I miss
Your smile?
Did I tell you I was okay?
Well no way
No way way way
Over real over
When I nearly hit the faceI loved
So tired of packaging the anger
Always pushing you away

Did I tell you you're wonderful?
I miss you yes I do
Did I tell you that I was wrong?
I was wrong
Cos you're wonderful yeah yeah
You're wonderful yeah yeah

Now now now each and every day
I realize the price I have to pay
You you're wonderful
And now for your information
I'm walking around like an arm decoration

You you're wonderful
So high I can't get over it
So deep I can't get under it
You
You're wonderful yeah
You're wonderful yeah yeah
You're wonderful yeah yeah
You're wonderful yeah yeah
Wonderful

Did I tell you you're wonderful?
I miss you yes I do
Did I tell you that I was wrong?
I was wrong
For so long long long

Did I tell you you're wonderful?
I miss you yes I do
Did I tell you that I was wrong?
I was wrong
For so long long long

Did I tell you you're wonderful?

ah..ah ..ahh...
ga ada duanya lah lagu ini...
walopun saat itu entah utk siapa gue dan isur nyanyiin lagu ini...
lupa lah jelas, secaraaaaa... banyak aja gitu yang mampir depan mata tiap hari...!!!!

secret

2009-01-21T02:33:00.000-08:00

ada lagu ini kemaren...
gue dengernya sampe merinding lagi
gilaaaaa... ini lagu jaman2 nya gue kuliah taun 2000an
jaman kelakuan gue satu pun ga ada yang terpuji deh... hehhehehehe

ga tau yah, kok bisa gitu
ada lagu-lagu yang pada saat kita dengerin,
tanpa sengaja ngebawa kita flashback ke suatu kejadian
atau jadi inget sama seseorang yang dulu pernah ada di deket kita
entah pada saat itu kejadian mengecewakan atau menyenangkan
tapi kekuatan sebuah lagu itu bisa ngebawa kita
dan memaksa kita untuk melihat kembali...

contohnya lagu ini....

How Can I Not Love You by Joy enriquez

Can not touch
Can not hold
Can not be together
Can not love
Can not kiss
Can not have each other
Must be strong, and we must let go
Can not say what our hearts must know

How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you
Here in my arms
How does one waltz away
From all the memories
How do I not miss you
When you are gone

Can not dream
Can not share
Sweet and tender moments
Can not feel
How we feel
Must pretend it's over
Must be brave, and we must go on
Must not say, what we’ve known all along
Must be brave, and we must be strong
Can not say, what we’ve known all along

lagu ini jadi favorit gue banget waktu itu
saat gue lagi menikmati being a rebbel
saat gue gak mau dengerin saran orang laen
saat gue keukeuh yakin sama apa yang gue pilih
even gue tauuuu banget itu suatu kesalahan
berbohong jadi salah satu cara supaya gue tidak kehilangan apapun.

pura-pura membenci dan pura-pura menyukai
gila juga yah kalo dipikir-pikir...
tapi kalo ga ngalamin itu semua
gak akan ada gue yang hari ini...

I'm alive

2009-01-21T01:21:00.000-08:00

Imong said:

are u a good girl?
as u said yourself...you are good now...
so I believe that..

there are always people who come and go...
perhaps some from your past, just flashing through your eyes,
but please do not disregard for all those people
who was and still are there for you, in all of these years...
beside you all through your bitter and sad moments...

mau nangis rasanya baca kalimat-kalimat itu
apalagi saat menyadari bahwa masih banyak orang yang sayang ma gue ternyata
tapi gue sering tutup mata, ga mau liat
tutup telinga karena ga mau denger
tutup hati karena ga mau percaya.

I'm thinking of all the struggles I've been through
with anger and tears,
fears and sorrows...
for all of those things has made me lost my self.
trying hard to hide behind a smile
I'm learning many things that I have learned.

Love Will Keep Us Alive by Eagles

I was standing
All alone against the world outside
You were searching
For a place to hide
Lost and lonely
Now you've given me the will to survive
When we're hungry...love will keep us alive

Don't you worry
Sometimes you've just gotta let it ride
The world is changing
Right before your eyes
Now I've found you
There's no more emptiness inside
When we're hungry...love will keep us alive
I would die for you
Climb the highest mountain
Baby, there's nothing I wouldn't do
I was standing
All alone against the world outside
You were searching
For a place to hide
Lost and lonely
Now you've given me the will to survive
When we're hungry...love will keep us alive
When we're hungry...love will keep us alive
When we're hungry...love will keep us alive

I need a little tenderness...

Cinzano

2009-01-19T02:21:00.000-08:00

someday I shall rise and seek you again
My eager feet shall find you again
although the years,
and the mark of pain have changed you wholly...
how could I forget having loved you so?
the face that was all my sun rising
so then I hold you fiercely by either hand
and my heart is sick with memories...

just a poem..
for you.

I do not love you !!! no !! I do not love you

And yet when you are not here, I am sad.

and envy the bright blue sky above you

those quiet stars may see you and be glad.

I do not love you !! yet, I do not know why

Even you seems so fine , to me

And often in my solitude I sigh

That I never feel like this as I do to you

broken

2009-01-19T02:00:00.000-08:00

hampir seminggu lebih gue ga nulis blog..
mendadak ilfil aja gitu...!!!
salah satunya karena sumber inspirasi gue tiba-tiba bikin hati gue merasa ditinggalkan... which is sebenernya mungkin gue nya aja yang ke ge-er an ya???
ya sudahlah... toh no one is completely on our side, right??!!

tapi anehnya...
angels in heaven sangat ngerti betapa gundah gulana nya hati gue...
eh kok ya..ada aja ya si Cupid bodoh itu kirim orang laen untuk jadi inspirasi gue !!!
heheheh...tak diduga tak disangka...

mijn lieve Cinzano...
entah darimana munculnya... ada kesamaan dalam tagline hidup bahwa Love itu takes time.
... dan dia juga setuju bahwa soulmate itu bisa siapa saja ...ga harus pasangan hidup.
banyak sih yang dibahas... ada yang penting dan ga penting juga
yang jelas kita dah lama banget ga ketemu... mungkin dari taun '94 ya??
kayak apa dia sekarang... gue gatau.
tapi senyumnya masih ..exactly, the same.

dia punya lagu ini... buat gue mungkin?!
hehehehhehe... gatau lah...
tapi gue seneng aja kalo lagi chat ma dia...brasa nyambung...
ato gue sambung-sambungin ya?
yang jelas... lagu ini gue suka banget.

Fix You by Coldplay

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse.

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
"Just what your worth"

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream, down on your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face and I...

Tears stream, down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face and I...

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you.

salah orang...atau salah moment ??

2009-01-09T22:15:00.001-08:00

katanya sih...cinta itu ga pernah salah.
cinta juga ga pernah bohong...
weks...
bokis ah.

yang gue tau sih...
hati yang tidak pernah bisa berbohong.
mau otak lu nolak dia mentah-mentah...
hapus no hp nya dari phonebook...
hapus YM nya, FB, FS, apapun lah yang bisa lu hapus...
teteup aja
tongkrongannya masih dengan tegak dan jelas ada di hati lu
bagai seonggok batu besar di tengah kali... halah.

gue pernah tuh begitu... persis setaun kemaren.
sampe-sampe irma, temen gue, bilang berulang kali...
"move on may, move on... !!!!"

gileeee...setaun bo!!! setaun gue bergelut dengan perasaan itu
perasaan tanpa awal dan akhir!!!!
kayak orang bodoh yang berusaha mengejar ekor pelangi.
nyesel nya emang belakangan kan??!!
orang yang tepat... datang untuk moment yang salah...
atau malah sebenernya dia
orang yang salah di moment yang tepat ???!!!
hhhmmmmm....

awalnya gue pikir dia orang yang tepat...
tapi setelah satu taun ini lewat... dia adalah the biggest mistake in my life.
makanya sekarang...
pasti bisa bener-bener lupain dia kok
dan gue juga belajar untuk maafin dia
walopun agak susah sih...

Luka Lama by Cokelat

[intro] G

G
Ku rentangkan hati
Em
Ku balut luka lama saat kau pergi
G
Ku tegarkan diri
Em
Walau bayangmu hadir di setiap mimpi

Am F
Oh haruskah kubenamkan diri meratapi
Am
tenggelam sesali yang terjadi
C
tersiksa bersama hampa asa

[reff]
G Em Am
kini ku hanya ingin lupakan semua
D Bm Em
mengenangmu menyesakkan jiwa
Am
kan ku hapus air mata

hingga ku dapat sembuhkan luka

G
ku coba hadapi
Em
walau pahit terasa di relung hati
G
harus ku lewati
Em
seakan semua tiada pernah terjadi

Am F
Oh haruskah kubenamkan diri meratapi
Am
tenggelam sesali yang terjadi
C
tersiksa bersama hampa asa

[reff]
G Em Am
kini ku hanya ingin lupakan semua
D Bm Em
mengenangmu menyesakkan jiwa
Am
kan ku hapus air mata
C G
hingga ku dapat sembuhkan luka
Em Am
semoga kelak lupakan semua
D Bm Em
mengenangmu menyesakkan jiwa
Am
kan ku hapus air mata
C
hingga ku dapat sembuhkan luka

G
Ku rentangkan hati
G
Ku balut luka lama saat kau pergi
G
Ku tegarkan diri
G
Walau bayangmu hadir di setiap mimpi

irma...
am I a good girl now ?
by escaping and forgetting ?!
it was too painfull to live with those fake attentions from him.

but..
i am good now...

back to summer '97

2009-01-09T21:05:00.000-08:00

kira-kira 12 taun yang lalu...
gue juga masih ABG berat...
masih cupu, baru ajaaaaaa lulus SMA...
gue liat klip lagu ini di TV, mmh emang bukan TV nasional sih...
well anyway,
gue liat klip lagu ini.

lagunya keren... indah...
dan gue ga ngerti arti liriknya !!!! hahahahahahha....
tapi saat itu naluri melow gue kan dah nyala tuh...
jadi gue nangkep lah sedikit banyak maksud lagu ini.

tema : standar lah, tentang percintaan dan perpisahan.
yang nyanyi : penyanyi terkenal di Belanda saat itu, Marco Borsato

gue sampe bela-belain nyari ke toko musik hari itu juga...
mana pake acara nyasar, salah naek bis, kagak bisa ngomong bahasa orang sana...
terpaksa dengan bahasa inggris blepotan dah...

nah dapet juga akhirnya...
CD single nya lagu Wereld Zonder Jou.
karena saat itu gue lagi cinlok sama seseorang...
dengan blo'on nya gue mengenang-ngenang dia gitu kalo lagi dengerin lagu nya...
hahahahha...biasalah ABG, walopun masih kebawa-bawa juga tuh sampe sekarang!!!

Wereld Zonder Jou by Marco Borsato en Trijntje Oosterhuis

Marco:
Ik heb een masker opgezet
En als mijn vrienden erom vragen
Zeg ik dat het heerlijk is
Alleen je foto's zijn al van de wand
Alsof ik ze vergeten kan dat ik je mis
Hoe koud 't is hoe leeg
Zo zonder jou hier om me heen
Ik kan je niet laten gaan
Al zeg ik dat het beter is
Alleen en zonder jou
Ik kan 't gewoon niet aan
Ik mis je armen om me heen
Nee, ik leef niet in een wereld zonder jou

Trijntje:
Ik heb bijna alles geprobeerd
Alles om je te vergeten
Ik lieg als ze me vragen hoe het gaat
Ik lees wat boeken, kijk tv
Maar daar verandert ook niets mee
Ik voel nog steeds verlang nog steeds
Ik denk nog steeds en steeds alleen aan jou

Samen:
Ik kan je niet laten gaan
Al zeg ik dat 't beter is
Alleen en zonder jou
Ik kan 't gewoon niet aan
Ik mis je armen om me heen
Nee, ik leef niet in een wereld zonder jou

De tijd staat stil
De tijd die alle wonden heelt
Ze loopt niet zonder jou
Ik kan je niet laten gaan
Al schreeuw ik dat het beter is
Alleen en zonder jou
Ik kan je niet laten gaan
Al zeg ik dat 't beter is
Alleen en zonder jou
Ik kan 't gewoon niet aan
Ik mis je armen om me heen
Nee, ik leef niet in een wereld zonder jou

taun 2000, kebodohan lain yang gue lakukan:
pas ketemuan ma tuh cinlok lagi di Bandung, kebetulan dia lagi maen ke rumah,
eehhh gue kasihin dah tuh CD !!!!!
begooo...begoooo....!!
gara-garanya, gue ga enak gitu euy...
dia dateng dari singapore, langsung ke bandung ke rumah gue
bawain gue oleh-oleh tali jam Swatch scuba yang warnanya biru-ijo turkish gitu deh.
ikh..bego bener gue.

udah gitu...tuh orang lenyap aja di telan bumi..kagak ada kabar lagi.
jam nya pun porak poranda...body nya pecah gara-gara
gue pecicilan di kampus...
depan KOPMA lah, biasaaaaa.... tongkrongan tetap selain di kelas...plus
kelakuan-kelakuan ajaib yang amoral.

I want my CD...
I want my Swatch ...
aaarrrrrggghhhh......!!!!!!
damn it !!

my make up...

2009-01-09T20:47:00.000-08:00

kemaren siang, Linda temen kerja gue bilang...
" maya itu sebenernya pinter...tapi males."
kok tau ya dia..??!!
maya ituuuu... "lu tuh ga punya ambisi ato gak mau punya ambisi sih?"
hhahahahah malah balik nanya dia!!!
" maya ituuu..fragile... tapi try hard to cover it.."
"... lu juga orangnya friendly, gampang cari temen...
tapi kelakuan nya juga kadang bikin orang jadi gampang sebel..!!!" wahahahahhahaha....

mmmhh...maya itu fragile.
rapuh kan ya maksudnya??
ga sekuat yang nampak dari luar.

pengen rasanya
dengan senyum...
dengan sentuhan sayang...
dengan rangkulan di pundak...
dengan genggaman di tangan yang gugup...
dengan kata-kata manis yang menyemangati...
gue belajar untuk ga jadi rapuh lagi.

The Tracks of My Tears by Go West

People say I'm the life of the party
'cause I tell a joke or two
Although I might be laughing loud and hearty
Deep inside I'm blue
So take a good look at my face
You'll see my smile looks out of place
If you look closer, it's easy to trace
The tracks of my tears..
I need you, need you
Since you left me if you see me with another girl
Seeming like I'm having fun
Although she may be cute
She's just a substitute
Because you're the permanent one..
So take a good look at my face
You'll see my smile looks out of place
If you look closer, it's easy to trace
The tracks of my tears..
I need you, need you

Outside I'm masquerading
Inside my hope is fading
Just a clown oo yeah
Since you put me down
My smile is my make up
I wear since my break up with you..

So take a good look at my face
You'll see my smile looks out of place
If you look closer, it's easy to trace
The tracks of my tears

tuuuuhh kaaaannn....
kalo diliatnya bener-bener pake hati...
bekas-bekas aer mata masih ada disitu.

tapi kan ga perlu lah membiarkan semua orang meneliti
wajah keren kita se detail itu...
bener kan?!

my smile is my make up.

beyond your smile

2009-01-09T18:47:00.000-08:00

grup band STYX pernah bilang gini ma gue,

"it takes love to make love
you can't hide behind your broken heart
it takes love to make love
let the light of another lover shine on you.."

setelah denger mereka bilang gitu, gue jadi yakin kalo gue harus belajar senyum lagi..
jadi segala kerapuhan ituuuu cukup dalam hati aja.
siapa juga kan, yang mau menyangga hati kita yang rapuh kalo bukan diri kita sendiri?

even harus nyebrang lautan, nyebrangin langit...
untuk nyariin or nemuin orang yang bisa bikin kita senyum lagi,
tapi tetep aja... no one is completely on your side..!!!! catet itu.
karena gimanapun juga, selalu ada gap diantara kita dengan siapapun

great expectation syndrome...
semakin kita terlalu ngarepin seseorang...
semakin kita terlalu ngarepin sesuatu untuk terjadi...
careful dear... you may get hurt.

Anything For You by Gloria Estefan

Anything for you
Though you're not here
Since you said we're through
It seems like years
Time keeps draggin on and on
And forever's been and gone
Still I can't figure what went wrong

And I'd do anything for you
I'll play your game
You've hurt me through and through
But you can have your way
I can pretend each time I see you
That I don't care and I don't need you
And though you'll never see me cryin'
You know inside I feel like dying

I'd still do anything for you
In spite of it all
I've learned so much from you
You made me strong
Don't you ever think that I don't love you
That for one minute I forgot you
But sometimes things don't work out right
And you just have to say goodbye
I hope you find somone to please you
Somone who'll care and never leave you
But if that someone ever hurts you
You just might need a friend to turn to

And I'd do anything for you
I'll give you up
If that's what I should do
To make you happy
I can pretend each time I see you
That I don't care and I don't need you
And though inside I feel like dying
You know you'll never see me crying

Don't you ever think that I don't love you
That for one minute I forgot you
But sometimes things don't work out right
And you just have to say goodbye

Don't wanna say goodbye..

Don't you ever think that I don't love you
That for one minute I forgot you
But sometimes things don't work out right
And you just have to say goodbye
I hope you find somone to please you
Somone who'll care and never leave you
But if that someone ever hurts you
You just might need a friend to turn to

I will do anything for you

...walopun dia ga pernah ada di samping kita
ga brarti kita ga boleh ngarepin.
hanya aja...
jangan sampe harapan itu melebihi kekuatan hati kita.

... but no happy ending !!

2009-01-08T04:29:00.000-08:00

back to real life...
back to the real world...
back to the ground.

segala keindahan di depan mata ga bakal bisa ilang dan di hapus gitu aja..
apalagi kalo dah merasuk hati.
dan ga gampang ...membawa setiap keindahan itu masuk ke dalam hati

terlebih lagi...
saat kita juga sadar bahwa semua itu cuma hadir dalam angan-angan aja
ga bisa jadi kenyataan...
seandainya memaksa agar semua itu bisa jadi nyata...
ada yang harus rela dikorbankan.

tiap senyumnya...
tiap kata-kata manis yang dia ucapkan...
bisa ngobatin segala rasa kecewa dan cape kita hari itu...
walopun cuma lewat sms... lewat suara di telfon... chatting berjam-jam...
duuuhh...rasanya ga ada habis-habisnya kita kangenin dia
tapi tetep aja...
ga bisa ngilangin satu rasa kecewa...kita ga bisa saling ketemu
walopun sekedar hanya untuk minta satu pelukan sayang.

All The Love In The World
R.J. Lange, Andrea Corr

I'm not looking for someone to talk to
I've got my friend, I'm more than O.K.
I've got more than a girl could wish for
I live my dreams but it's not all they say
Still I believe - I'm missing - I'm missing something real
I need someone who really sees me

- Don't wanna wake - Don't wanna wake up alone anymore
Still believing you'll walk through my door
All I need is to know it's for sure
Then I'll give all the love in the world

I've often wondered if love's an illusion
Just to get you through the loneliest days
I can't criticize it
I have no hestitaion
My imagination just stole me away
- Still - Still I believe
- I'm missing - I'm missing something real
I need someone who really sees me

- Don't wanna wake - Don't wanna wake up alone anymore
Still believing you'll walk through my door
All I need is to know it's for sure
Then I'll give all the love in the world

Love's for a lifetime not for a moment
So how could I throw it away
Yeah I'm only human
And nights grow colder
With no-one to love me that way
Yeah I need someone who really sees me

- Don't wanna wake - And i won't wake up alone anymore
Still believing you'll walk through my door
You'll reach for me and I'll know it's for sure
Then I'll give all the love in the world
- Don't wanna wake up alone anymore -

I still remember this, still fresh in my memory...

2009-01-08T02:58:00.000-08:00

flash back...
ada yang layak untuk dikenang...
ada juga yang layak masuk trash bin... alias ga penting.

tapi beberapa minggu ini banyak sekali old memories back to my mind..in a rush malah!!!
dan bikin perasaan gue happy.
yup, bener banget...happy yang luar biasa indahnya.

wuuuuiiiiihh..dah lama banget gue ga merasa begini!!!
feels like a thousand years live in a box.
malah ada yang bilang gini:

him .: ini lagu yg kita denger di kamar aku
.: i still remember that
.: fresh in my memory
.: sorry
MaYa: serius?
MaYa: salah ah...bukan sama aku kali
.: hihihih
.: waktu itu rame2
.: ada yosi, age dll
.: km datang sama age
.: kamu emang pernah denger lagu itu sama sapa?
MaYa: ga pernah sama siapa2...karena rata2 temen2 aku gada yang tau lagu itu
.: kalo gak salah age sering ledekin aku pake lagu itu
.: ngeledek waktu tau kmu suka sama aku
MaYa: wah serius??
.: yup
.: kalo gak salah

hahahahahahhaa.....
what a sweet thing to remember !!!
percaya ga sih bahwa hal-hal beginian, yang awalnya cuma lewat sebentar di saat itu
justru bisa jadi penghiburan yang bisa membawa semangat hidup yang udah mati
jadi nyala lagi bertahun-tahun kemudian...

kalo buat gue sih...
mengingatkan gue bahwa dulu gue pernah mengalami hal-hal yang menyenangkan...
yang ga semua orang pernah ngalamin...
dan ga semua orang mampu tersenyum saat mengingat hal itu lagi...

Only Reminds Me of You by St. Paul

I see you, beside me
It's only a dream
A vision of what used to be
The laughter, the sorrow
Pictures in time
Fading to memories

How could I ever let you go
Is it too late to let you know

Chorus:
I tried to run from your side
But each place I hide
It only reminds me of you
When i turn out all the lights
Even the night
It only reminds me of you

I needed my freedom
That's what I've thought
But I was a fool to believe
My heart lied while you cried
Rivers of tears
But I was too blind to see

Everything we've been through before
Now it means so much more

I tried to run from your side
But each place I hide
It only reminds me of you
When I turn out all the light
Even the night
It only reminds me of you

Only you…

So come back to me
I'm down on my knees
Boy can't you see…

How could I ever let you go
Is it too late to let you know

I tried to run from your side
But each place I hide
It only reminds me of you
When I turn out all the lights
Even the night
It only reminds me of you

You, You,
It only reminds me of you

makasih ya...
karena udah bawa lagu itu dalam memory hidup gue
mungkin saat itu,
lagu ini ga bermakna sama sekali
tapi sekarang ....

lo tau kok jawabannya.

turn back the time

2009-01-07T02:43:00.000-08:00

kemaren adalah hari ulang taun gue...
and after several hours chatting with someone...then i realize that
udah lama banget gue melupakan perasaan itu.

feelings that could melt your soul
kind of feelings yang sering bikin gue blingsatan salting ga jelas
bikin gue senyam senyum sendiri kayak orang ga waras
dan tiap lagu yang gue denger bisa menampilkan wajahnya di pelupuk mata ini...halah..
dan tentunya...
kind of feelings yang selalu bikin gue patah hati juga!!

tapi kok gue ga kapok ya?
seolah lupa bahwa gue pernah melewati rasa-rasa seperti ini???

kembali membiarkan pikiran dan hati ga kompak...
kembali membiarkan debar-debar itu menguasai seluruh panca indera
dan...membiarkan diri terlepas ke dalam lingkaran tanpa ujung...

Hold On My Heart by Phil Collins

Hold on my heart
just hold on to that feeling
we both know we've been here before
we both know what can happen
Hold on my heart
cos I'm looking over you shoulder
please don't rush in this time
don't show her how you feel
Hold on my heart
throw me a lifeline
I'll keep a place for you
somewhere deep inside
Hold on my heart
please tell her to be patient
cos there has never been a time
that I wanted something more
If I can recall this feeling
and I know there's a chance
oh I will be there
yes I will be there
be there for you
whenever you want me to
whenever you call I will be there
Yes I will be there
Hold on my heart
don't let her see you crying
no matter where I go
she'll always be with me
Hold on my heart
just hold on to that feeling
we both know we've been here before
we both know what can happen
So hold on my heart

gue dah terlanjur...
membiarkan hati gue lepas kendali lagi...
gue dah terlanjur membiarkan pikiran gue membawa lu lagi
masuk ke dalam hati...

tanpa gue sempat inget
hati gue ini udah ga utuh lagi
sejak terakhir lu pergi dari situ dan ngebiarin hati gue retak...tak terpulihkan.

a song for you

2009-01-05T06:05:00.000-08:00

I heard a song in my soul
my heart chose him.

then we met, and yet we do not meet.
what love is this?
what dream is this?
what flood of feeling is this?
days have changed, and nights too
what time has done to me?
change my very being...

Lost in Space by Lighthouse Family

Sometimes I get tired of this me-first attitude
You are the one thing that keeps me smiling
That's why I'm always wishing hard for you
'Cause your light shines so bright
I don't feel no solitude
You are my first star at night
I'd be lost in space without you
And I'll never lose my faith in you
How will I ever get to heaven, if I do
Feels just so fine
When we touch the sky me and you
This is my idyll of heaven
Why can't it always be so good?
But it's all right, I know you're out there
Doing what you've gotta do
You are my soul satellite
I'd be lost in space without you
And I'll never lose my faith in you
How will I ever get to heaven, if I do
And I'll never lose my faith in you
How will I ever get to heaven, if I do
And I'll never lose my faith in you
And I'll never lose my faith in you

you have won me...
melting like two melodies
not slow , not fast.

Apart

2009-01-05T05:22:00.000-08:00

my beloved...
you are abide in my heart
I have seen divine light comes from you

I wonder to my self, do you belong to me?

you are near yet so far
I can not endure this yearning
we walk side by side but distance separated us
like two shores of ocean that never meet
a wall of glass keep us apart

(You'll always be) My heart and soul by Stephen Bishop

The years they come and go
And change will come I know
You won’t be there
My heart and soul
Different time and place
The time did not erase
The smile that lights your face
As you gaze in mine
It will always shine
And you
Will always be
An angel making sure I can
A memory that’s always there
Your dreams won’t die if they live inside of me
You’ll always be my heart and soul

The years go long and on
I looked and you were gone
I miss you so
My heart and soul
The years can make you wise
I finally realize
That if I just close my eyes
I can see all there (??)
From the love we share
And you will always be
A dream so real it cannot die
A trust in faith that lets me fly
A thought so strong it just belongs to me
You’ll always be my heart and soul

An angel making sure I can
A memory that’s always there
You’ll always be my heart and sou l

what is this story that life is told me??

kita banget.

2008-12-20T06:57:00.001-08:00

ada lagu bagus nih...
layak didengarkan di saat lagi suntuk kerja

chord nya cari aja ya sendiri....

All My Only Dreams by The Wonders

Every night I pray
I'll have you here someday
I'll count the stars tonight
And hope with all my might
And when I close my eyes
You'll be right by my side
If I could only have one wish
You'd be the girl whose lips I'd kiss
All my only dreams

And when I close my eyes
You'll be right by my side
If I could have just one request
Stay with me girl I confess
All my only dreams

Any waking hour it seems
I only have you in my dreams
So every night I'll pray
I'll have you here one day
I'll count the stars tonight
And hope with all my might
That when I close my eyes
You'll be right by my side
If I could have just one request
Stay with me girl I confess
All my only dreams

ini lagi jaman-jaman kelas 3 SMA
kalo nyanyiin lagu ini pasti pake hati..
sekarang... apalagi!!!

bejan

2008-12-20T06:05:00.001-08:00

dateng ke kawinan temen...
siang dan panas... lapar pula.
untung nya teman-teman ku yang datang bersamaku punya rasa lapar yang sama

grill fish...
es krim...

eh tau-tau ada sesosok wajah... (radius 6 meter dari tempat gue berdiri sambil makan grill fish)
...dan tersenyum!!!
waddduuuuuhhh... mati dah gue !!!
kok tiba-tiba tuh orang jalan ke arah gue pula ya sambil bawa piring dan makan...
rupanya si lora kolor ijo yang manggil !!!
bajingan tengik, kau lor !!!!!

imong dah cekikikan...
dan gue, MATI GAYA tentu saja !!!

..ngobrol dah, basa-basi, ngalor ngidul...
dan gue ga sanggup tuh natap mukanya.. (loraaaaa... bajingan !!!!)

then a few hours latter, he called me.
after several words of nothing
he said that he's going to marry his gf next year
..**@.#... !!!!!!

nyesel gue ketemu dia hari ini.
but then he told me about one special song
and he gave me this
... a song which always reminds him of maya

Viva Forever by Spice Girl

Do you still remember
How we used to be
Feeling together, believe in whatever
My love has said to me
Both of us were dreamers
Young love in the sun
Felt like my saviour, my spirit I gave ya
We'd only just begun

Hasta Manana,
Always be mine

[Chorus:]
Viva forever, I'll be waiting
Everlasting, like the sun
Live forever,
For the moment
Ever searching for the one

Yes I still remember,
Every whispered word
The touch of your skin, giving life from within
Like a love song that I'd heard
Slipping through our fingers,
Like the sands of time
Promises made, every memory saved
Has reflections in my mind

Hasta Manana,
Always be mine

[Chorus]

Back where I belong now,
Was it just a dream
Feelings unfold, they will never be sold
And the secret's safe with me

Hasta Manana,
Always be mine

[Chorus x2]

bejan...
thank you.

to wait...

2008-12-20T05:03:00.000-08:00

menunggu
adalah pekerjaan yang benar-benar mengesalkan !!!
ga di mana-mana deh... pasti gak ada orang yang mau di suruh nunggu.

tapi hari ini...
gue memutuskan untuk "menunggu", hehehehhe.... sampe takjub sendiri gue!
menunggu untuk tidak "walking pass through the line"...
menunggu dan belajar menerima kondisi, walaupun hal itu akan membuat gue nyesel
tapi gue bakal lebih nyesel lagi kalo gue nekat dan ga trima kondisi.

tau ga kenapa??
supaya chemistry itu tetap ada
and the flicker will always burn
karena kalo chemistry ilang... jangan harap deh kisah cinta akan tetap indah

bisa aja sih, ga usah pake acara nunggu-nunggu segala...
hajar ajaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa... !!!!!
mumpung ada di depan mata, kenapa harus didiemin?
nunggu apa lagi?!
kesempatan kayak gini ga bakal datang dua kali... (emang iya sih...)

but if you want to grow old with the happy feeling,
which contents lots of joy and happiness... and love,
you must learn to wait.
walopun you got a lot of desires...
and you can't help your self from wanting,
and the one you love is right there... in front of you.

..don't be foolish and weak !!

I Can Wait Forever by Air Supply

When you say, I miss the things you do,
I just wanna get back close again to you.
But for now, your voice is near enough,
How I miss you, when I miss you, love.
And though,
All the days that pass me by so slow
All the emptiness inside me flows, all around,
And there's no way out
I'm just thinkin' so much of you,
There was never any doubt...

CHORUS
I can wait forever, if you say you'll be there, too
I can wait forever, if you will, I know it's worth it all
To spend my life alone with you.

When it looked, as though my life was wrong,
You took my love and gave it somewhere to belong
I'll be here, when hope is out of sight,
I just wish that I was next to you tonight, and oh
I'll be reachin' for you even though,
You'll be somewhere else, my love will go
like a bird, on it's way back home
I could never let you go, and I just want you to know...

CHORUS

Where are you know?
Alone, with the thoughts we share
Keep them strong somehow,
And you know, I'll always be there...

I can wait forever, if you say you'll be there, too
I can wait, forever if you will, I know it's worth it all
To spend my life alone...
I can wait forever, if you say you'll be there, too,
I can wait, forever if you will, I can wait forever or more...
I can wait forever...

so, if you want to spend your life dengan perasaan bahagia..
learn to wait
karena perasaan ini..layak untuk di tunggu.

when Love comes late in life

2008-12-18T03:31:00.000-08:00

apakah cinta selalu datang terlambat??
when love comes late in life,
what would you do?

If I could put you in my heart, wrapped you in my self....
You would be my North, my South...
my East and my West...
my noon...
my midnight.
my talk... my song..

You were my joy in every spot
and my theme in every song...

Aku, dirimu dan dirinya by Kahitna

F A
Tak ada
Dm A# C
Yang harus kita sesali
F A
Semua indah
Dm A# C
Yang pernah kita alami

Gm Am
Meskipun terbatas
Dm
Dan tak mungkin
A# C
Terikat janji abadi

D A/C# Bm
Aku dirimu dirinya
A G F#m
Tak akan pernah mengerti
Em A
Tentang suratan
D A/C# Bm
Aku dirimu dirinya
A G F#m
Tak resah bila sadari
Em A D
Cinta takkan salah

A# Am Gm Dm
Andai waktu bisa kita putar kembali
A# Am Gm A
Jalinan cerita mungkin tak begini

D A/C# Bm
Aku dirimu dirinya
A G F#m
Tak akan pernah mengerti
Em A
Tentang suratan
D A/C# Bm
Aku dirimu dirinya
A G F#m
Tak resah bila sadari
Em A D
Cinta takkan salah

F A Dm A# 2x

Gm Am
Meskipun terbatas
Dm
Saling pandang
A# C
Dan tak akan lebih lagi

D A/C# Bm
Aku dirimu dirinya
A G F#m
Tak akan pernah mengerti
Em A
Tentang suratan
D A/C# Bm
Aku dirimu dirinya
A G F#m
Tak resah bila sadari
Em A
Cinta takkan salah

F C Dm C A# Am Gm C
F C Dm C A# Am Gm C

tentang suratan...

F C Dm C A# Am Gm C
F C Dm C A# Am Gm C

tak akan aku sesali cinta takkan salah

F A# F A#

try to denie.
..and walk through the broken path.
I can not say how I feel
It could melt my dreams.

dear Kafka...

2008-12-17T06:32:00.000-08:00

.... I have learn many things
I have learned to wear many faces like a fixed portrait smile
I have learned to say goodbye

I want to be what I used to be
I want to relearn
how to laugh, for my laugh in the mirror

show me how to laugh...
because i used to laugh and smile
once... when i was like you

Capo on 2nd fret

	Bm	D	G	D
There's	no-one left in the w	orld that I can hol	d onto

There is really no-one left at all, there is only you

And if you leave me now, you leave all that we were undone

There is really no-one left, you are the only one

	F#m	G	D	Bm
And sti	ll the hardest p	art for you to put	your trust in me

	F#m	G	D	A
I love	you more than I	can say. Why won't	you just believe?

jatuh cinta berjuta rasanya....

2008-12-17T03:16:00.000-08:00

Love is warm
Love is my wishing star
and my Love for you is one of seven wonders

lupa...kayak pernah denger kalimat itu dimana ya???

mmhhhh....
emang bener sih !!
maunya nempel sama HP.. diliat-liat kali aja ada sms
senyum-senyum ga waras tiap bayangin orangnya...
slalu kangen
padahal baru ketemu
padahal baru aja ngobrol
padahal baruuuuuu aja denger suaranya di telfon

malah...
sempet ngebayangin untuk melakukan hal-hal gila
yang ga umum deh... cuma pengen liat wajahnya bentaaaaaarr aja
ato pengen megang tangannya 10 meniiiiit aja
dan... pengen peluk walopun cuma setarikan nafas....

yang pasti...
kalo emang ni orang bener2 juga sayang sama kita
kita ga bakal takut
tampil apa adanya...
ga perlu takut dia bakal ninggalin kita hanya karena kelakuan kita yang ga normatif
atau dia akan nerima
walopun kita ga sempurna fisik

terkadang saat dia berbohong pun, kita ga akan bisa marah...
kita cuma sanggup tersenyum...
berharap dia ga bohong lagi next time.

...hihihihi
gila apa ya??
apakah bener jatuh cinta bikin kita jadi seeee... gitunya??!!
apapun itu...
tetep aja...jatuh cinta berjuta rasanya
selamat menikmati cinta
dalam berbagai macam rasa...

oya seperti biasa... ini ada lirik yang pas banget...

When You LOve Someone singing by Bryan Adams

When you love someone - you'll do anything
you'll do all the crazy things that you can't explain
you'll shoot the moon - put out the sun
when you love someone

you'll deny the truth - believe a lie
there'll be times that you'll believe you can really fly
but your lonely nights - have just begun
when you love someone

when you love someone - you'll feel it deep inside
and nothin' else can ever change your mind
when you want someone - when you need someone
when you love someone...

when you love someone - you'll sacrifice
you'd give it everything you got and you won't think twice
you'd risk it all - no matter what may come
when you love someone... yeah
you'll shoot the moon - put out the sun
when you love someone

and this song
is for the one yang lagi falling in love kayak ABG
hahahahahhahahah.....

..for old time sake

2008-12-16T04:43:00.000-08:00

you : onlen gak?
MaYa : iya
MaYa : aku lagi bikin blog
you : yup yg bagus yah, jangan bikin sesak nafasku ini yah hehe
MaYa : hahahahahah ga janji deeeehhh
you : aduh may, nanti aku bisa mati lho
MaYa : mati gimana?
you : mati krn sedih
MaYa : sedih knp?????
you : kalo maya bikin blog yg menyakiti hatiku
MaYa : indah kok
MaYa : ga menyakiti kamu sedkitpun
you : asyik, maya memang baik banget
MaYa : aku yakin kamu pasti suka
MaYa : secara...kita sama2 penyuka GnR kan?
MaYa : lho apa ta?? ga nyambung...hahahahah

here's for you...

Patience by Guns N' Roses

Intro:

C G A D    C G A D
C G C Em   C G D D

C
Shed a tear cause I'm missing you
 G
I'm still allright to smile
A                            D
Girl I think about you every day now

C
Was a time when I wasn't sure
     G
But you set my mind at ease
A                               D
There is no doubt, you're in my heart now

C          G
Sad woman take it slow
     C               Em
It will work itself out fine
C              G               D
All we need is just a little patience

C          G
Sad sugar make it slow and
C              Em
It comes together fine
C              G               D
All we need is just a little patience

Sit here on the stairs
Cause I'd rather be alone
If I can't have you right now
I'll wait dear

Sometimes I get so candescent
But I can't speed up the time
You know love, there's one more thing
To consider

Sad woman take it slow
And things will be just fine
You and I just use a little patience

Sad sugar take the time
Cause the lights are shining bright
You and I got what it takes to make it

D
We don't fake it
D
Ahh and never break it
D
Cause I can't take it

Solo
G    C
A little patience
G    C
Mhh Yeah

G
I've been walking the streets tonight
C
Just trying to get it right
G
It's hard to see with so many around
C
you know I don't like being stuck in a crowd
     G
And the streets don't change but maybe the name
C
I ain't got time for the game
     G
Cause I need you
               C
Yeah Yeah cause I need you
   G
Uh I need you
   D
Woh I need you
       G   C  G
Uhh this time

hahahahahaha...
semoga kamu ga keberatan ngeliatin tiap chord nya
dan pelajariiiii yaaaaaa !!!!!

dear anonymous...

2008-12-16T04:32:00.000-08:00

hai hai hai...
comment kamu terlalu indah utk bersembunyi di dalam kotak nya itu
so please jangan marah ya
aku publish disini

...memang serba membingungkan, but love ..... sama seperti gulungan ombak yang siap menerkam apapun yang berada didepannya ..... tidak karang tidak pasir... susah untuk dibendung, susah untuk disangkal

i remember the day.... pada saat kami kembali bertemu.

i remember the day.... ketika gulungan ombak ini tidak tertahan lagi dan akhirnya kami mengungkapkan rasa itu..

rasa yang terus tersimpan didalam hati yang tidak pernah tersentuh oleh darah yang mengalir sekalipun

rasa yang akhirnya terbangunkan kembali dari mati suri oleh sebuah sapaan.... sapaan yang tidak pernah terbayangkan sebelumnya...

rasa yang akhirnya kita sama-sama menyadari tidak ada satu harapan pun yang akan bisa membuat jembatan yang akan menghubungkan rasa ini... terlalu jauh, terlalu indah.

i remember .... pada saat kami bertanya satu sama lain .... apakah rasa ini salah???

i remember when i kissed her on that day for the first time ... it was so honest, clean and softly ....

i remember ..... kami mengisi hari-hari setelahnya dengan kenangan dan kepahitan secara bersamaan....

i remember ...all the things

i remember u ...
(akankah gulungan ombak ini yang akhirnya juga menghapus jejak jejak kaki kami yang telah tercetak dengan indah diatas pasir putih??)

Grow old with you

2008-12-16T03:55:00.000-08:00

may I ask you a question....???

do you believe that every one of us have a soulmate?
although I hardly knew what does it refers to, the meaning of soulmate.

I only knew that sometimes
a stranger that you meet could be your soulmate
people who sit beside you on the bus
or a person who stand behind you on a queue...
what else ?! many thing is possible.

or perhaps...
someone who shares the same interest with you...
someone who knows exactly the way you're thinking,
someone who understands you even when you don't say a thing...
the one who always keeping you in their mind...
and know exactly how to make you smile...

ga tau deh...
yang pasti ada satu rasa "happy" saat lu lagi bareng dia
ngobrolin segala macem... yang terkadang tanpa sadar obrolan itu bikin lu blushing ...
lu nikmatin obrolan bareng itu
dan tau-tau udah 3 jam aja ngebahas hal-hal yang ....
mungkin ga penting ya buat oranglaen tapi... justru manis untuk lu berdua.

mmmhhh....

gue rasa, perasaan seperti itu, the happy uncommon thing itu
boleh-boleh aja kok lu nikmatin di sela-sela hari yang membosankan...

enjoy it while you can...
till you drop, may be?!
or till you grow old...

hi...
wherever you are... this song is for you
I'm singing it right now...
hear it with your heart...

Grow Old With You singing by Adam Sandler

I wanna make you smile
Whenever you're sad
Carry you around
When your arthritis is bad
All I wanna do is
Grow old with you.
I'll get you medicine
When your tummy aches
Build you a fire
When the furnace breaks
It could be so nice
Growing old with you.
I'll miss you
I'll kiss you
Give you my coat when you are cold
Need you
Feed you
Even let you hold the remote control
Let me do the dishes
In our kitchen sink
Put you to bed
When you've had too much to drink
I could be the man who
Grows old with you
I wanna grow old with you

do you know this song?

2008-12-15T04:30:00.000-08:00

Earth Bound

... singing by Conner Reeves

You took me higher than I've ever been
Now that we're strangers, I've come down again
Back to the real world, back to the real world
Back to the ground
Not high above it, without your loving
Now I'm earthbound

Because your love it lifted me above it all
Without it, it's leaving me so far to fall
I hope you find what you're looking for
I never thought there could be anymore

But if you really have to go
You take the high, I'll take the low
But when you leave me don't you know
You leave me earthbound

You took me higher than I've ever been
Now that we're strangers, I've come down again
Back to the real world, back to the real world
Back to the ground
Not high above it, up where the love is
Now I'm earthbound

Because we used to say that we were far away
Because our love, it took us to another place
And it's so hard for me to face

But if you really have to go
You take the high, I'll take the low
But when you leave me don't you know
You leave me earthbound
If you really have to go
You take the high, I'll take the low
But when you leave me don't you know
You leave me earthbound

...dulu yaaa..perasaan gue,
this song was awsome!!!
taun '97 akhir SMA... mau masuk kuliah.

... banyak untold stories.

... to Forget

2008-12-15T03:10:00.000-08:00

while I was sitting here yesterday and searched some words to write...
I had nothing to decide about "to change" my feelings...
I kept my fingers ran through the keyboard and wrote those blog.
... then a chat box showed-up, and it says:

... : kenapa lo OL terus akhir-akhir ini?
maya : emang kenapa?
... : tumben... pengen tau aja.
chat with blackberry? or PC ? or cellphone?
maya : cell phone.
... : that's all. Just asking...bye.

but I couldn't help my self from asking, 'though my mind told me not to!!

maya : how are you lately?
... : I'm fine, still alive... still having those accupuncture stuff
bye now... got to watch IBL on TV!!
maya : .... (shi*, ass**le, da*n....!!!!! )

why should i asked further ???!!!!
didn't I learn many things these whole years ?!
have I forgot how easily my heart can break ???!!!

I've failed to understand...
in 2 minutes I tried to fight back the tears... it was worthless for that kind of person!

I have to move my heart and walk away.
for all these times, I've blinded by a memory
Yes, my friend... the memory which has turned me to be a mourner !!!

hahahahahah....
cape deeeeehh..!!!!!

udah ah, gue ga mau inget lagi yang sedih-sedih.
eh tapi gue mau kasih tau satu lagu yang bagus...
lirik nya yang bagus...musik nya apa lagi!!!
tapi kalo mau tau musik nya kayak apa...
search aja sendiri yah...

So Not Over You singing by Simply Red

Don't know why I still slept on my side of the bed
The emptiness when you were gone kept ringing in my head
Told myself I really had to move along now
Stop regretting all the things I left unsaid, yeah yeah

So I tore up your letters
Took your picture off my wall
I deleted your number, it was too hard not to call
Felt a little better, told myself I'd be fine
Got to live for the good times up ahead, yeah yeah

* 'Cos everywhere I go
There's a love song that reminds me of you
And even though I knew I had to be strong
I was still not over you
'Cos I still believe and I could see how there's nothing left of you and me
That time is over
'Cos I'm so not over you

All my friends try to tell me better find somebody new
Why waste time being lonely when there's nothing left to lose'
Anything to get you out of my mind
I'm a fool if I thought I could forget
And I could not forget

[Repeat *]

Now I found a way to keep you there beside me
To where my love won't be denied
I can only hope to keep you there and guide me
There's no more need to hide from all this pain inside

[Repeat *]

So not over you
That time is over
'Cos I'm so not over you Not

hahahahahhahahah...
tuuuhhh kan...
I've told you...great lyric isn't it !!!

How about you?
Have you ever try hard to forget ... but keep remembering in the same time?!

Tell me...
Supaya gue tau, that I'm not the only one.

Remember

2008-12-14T02:47:00.001-08:00

...How I Remember You...

i thought that sentence was only a poetic words that Michael Frank tried to say on his song.

but after 12 years..
it happened to me in many ways...and many times!
it was not easy for me to tell someone the way i feel 'bout them especially when i'm in love with them...

just a couple weeks ago,
i found this person on facebook...the one from my 10 years ago.
we've lost contact for 8 years, no phone calls at all...totally lost!
after pages of IM on my Yahoomessenger chat box, and 30 minutes on the phone...

akhirnya gue nyadar...
banyak hal yang tidak terselesaikan di masa lalu...sort of unfinished feelings in the past.

then..suddenly this song came up..

How I Remember You, singing by Michael Frank

I REMEMBER YOU

If it's true from the start
That the name of those we love
are written on our heart
And we search ‘til we find
In this jungle of confusion
something that reminds us
How we love each other

Then I think I've found the clue
Because I'm certain I remember you.

Through my window I see
How the seasons change like notes with instant harmony
But the love in our eyes
Is a endless summer, is a joy that magnifies
Each time we touch each other
And it feels like deja vu
As my heart reveals that I remember you

Day after day, I'm amazed how our love intensifies
In every way, it resembles forever /
Abandons us never

Like the sunlight that shines, like the fragrance of the rose
No single world defines
We are tuned to the sound
That displays creation that our life revolves around
That searching for each other
From a million hearts we choose
You remember me and I remember you

Day after day, I'm amazed how our love intensifies
In every way, it resembles forever /
Abandons us never

A chorus of sparrows in summer
That's how I remember you
The fire of maples in autumn
That's how I remember you
The silence of snowfall in winter,
That's how I remember you
A chorus of sparrows in summer
That's how I remember you
The fire of maples in autumn
That's how I remember you
The silence of snowfall in winter
That's how I remember you

...and yet,
i still keep my heart in a silence.