Menunggu...

entah kenapa...
baru nyadar hari ini, ternyata gue punya satu sifat yang
aarrgh... gak membuat diri gue sendiri nyaman !!!

baru saja membahasnya dengan seseorang dengan sifat yang sama.
mmmh... gue ini adalah orang yang seneng dikabarin.
kata temen gue,

"bagi gue ngabarin is part of respect"

emang sih...
secara gue ini orangnya kan kalo chat atau sms, apalagi kalo lagi antusias terhadap sesuatu... wuuiiihhh...
bisa panjang lebar dah dalam nyari kabar dan memberi kabar!
terlebih sama orang yang kita sayang...
maunya kalo kita nanya kabar, harus segera ditanggapi.

ujung-ujungnya jadi lebay kan... merasa di cuekin, di abaikan lah...
aih ga asik banget jadinya...
gedeg sendiri deh.

padahal udah tau pasti... ga boleh terlalu ngarep...!!!
akhirnya...
berusaha dan belajar cuek...
ga peduli dan ga mau mikirin...


jadi inget lagunya Cake

Never There

I need your arms around me,
I need to feel your touch.

I need your understanding,
I need your love so much.

You tell me that you love me so,
You tell me that you care,
But when I need you,
(Baby) Baby (Your never there).

On the phone long, long distance,
Always through such strong resistance,
And first you say your to busy,
I wonder if you even miss me.

(CHORUS)
Never there,
You're never there,
You're never, ever, ever, ever there.
(Hey!)

A golden bird that flies away,
A candle stickled flame, (Hey!)
To think I held you yesterday,
Your love was just a game.
(Twice)

You tell me that you love me so,
You tell me that you care,
But when I need you, (baby)
Baby...

Take the time to get to know me,
If you want me why can't you just show me,
We're always on this roller coaster,
If you want me why don't you get closer.

(Chorus Twice)

(Hey!)
OOOOOOOhhhhh Ha!!!
Yeaaaaaa! Ho!


hahahahhaha... cocok ga ?!

sayonara camera man...

dah beberapa minggu ini, mmmhh...sejak januari sih..,
status gue di FB selalu tentang si camera man.
hehehehehe...
ada yang bilang, " jijay lu, melow banget sih..."
ada juga yang nanya-nanya penasaran...
" siapa sih camera man? "
" siapa sih manusia durjana itu? "
" yang mana sih oknum nya?"

aw aw awh...
ga mungkin lah gue critain siapa dia.
tapi intinya sih, dengan kehadiran orang itu gue jadi tau bahwa ada juga ya manusia dengan "bentukan" kayak dia.

I've met sooooo many people in my life...
dan di usia yang sudah sangat sangat cukup matang, masih ada toh orang dengan kepribadian kayak dia !!! (in negative way tentunya )
beeuuuuhh...emosi bener gue ya!!!! hahahahah....!!!

ya gitu lah friends...
when you judge people, you don't have time to love them.
that's a quote from Mother Theresa.
tapi emang bener kok !
kalo kita keburu menilai orang lain sesuai dengan mind set kita sendiri,
kita ga akan bisa nemuin hal positif dari orang itu...
buat kita pokoknya dari mulai ujung rambut sampe ujung kaki,
kita keburu sebel ma dia !!!

woooooooww....!
subjektif sekali kan itu namanya... iya kan?!
padahal kita juga ga suka kalo ada orang ga kenal ma kita,
ujug-ujug pasang muka kayak p*ntat ayam sama kita...
idiiiiiihhh...

sekali lagi...
cukup deh gue tau, bahwa orang se hebat dan se pintar dia,
punya pola pikir yang sempit.
kok ga seimbang ya sama intelektualitas dan lingkup pergaulannya...
sayang banget!!

ya gue merasa, dia bersikap gak fair aja sama gue...

so, I've decided to let him go...
I would not keep him as a friend.
emang sih... suka-suka dia lah mau menilai gue seperti apa, hak dia toh ?!
tapi buat gue, aura pertemanan di antara kita dah ga nyaman lagi.
bukankah yang namanya teman itu adalah
orang yang bisa membuat kita merasa nyaman ?!
at leat that's what I think about friendship...

so camera man ...
goodbye to you...
I would not spare you my angry face...
I would not ignore your smile...
although it hurts me to remember you in such way...

I don't have any song for your remembrance...
it's only makes frawn to my face.

(...sigh'..)

never realize it..

diberi sayang...
menerima ungkapan sayang...
adalah hal yang sangat umum terjadi dalam keseharian kita
terlebih sebagai manusia normal yang memiliki keinginan dan kebutuhan.
(kalo ga salah, itu ada di diktat sosiologi kok! hahahahah... kamana atuh jaduuul..!!)

kita tuh ga pernah tau, atau mungkin juga udah tau ya?!
kenapa ada orang sayang ma kita atau perhatiin kita.
dalam hal ini maksudnya adalah person yang ada di luar keluarga, lho ya!!
karena gimana pun juga, tetep aja lah ada saat dimana kita ingin diperhatikan oleh orang lain selain keluarga dan orang terdekat.

dengan gaya yang sok ogah-ogah, di mulut keluar deh omongan
" kenapa ya kok dia perhatian banget ma gue.."
" kenapa ya kok dia sikapnya sweet banget ya sama akyuuuu..."
.... dan sebagainyalah semacam itu.

tapi di hati...jelasss... doyan !!!! hahahaahha...

kita gak ngeh aja, suatu saat...
kita pasti akan kangen sama perhatian itu.

kita cuma doyan aja diperhatiin tapi, belum belajar untuk menghargai perhatian itu. sampai pada suatu masa di mana perhatian itu berhenti.
it happened to me too.

just when someone said that he will be tied up in a marriage...
tanpa sadar, badan langsung lemes dengernya..
tanpa sadar, ada rasa sedih...
ada rasa kecewa.
pengen rasanya buru-buru pergi dari depan dia.
padahal saat itu, gue dah punya cowok juga.

egois ya gue?!
iyalah...

karena dari sekian lama perhatiannya, dan sikap baiknya, gue hanya menanggapi nya dengan angkuh bahwa... masih ada kok yang suka ma gue.

padahal dia beneran sayang tuh...
tanpa sadar, gue menyukai perhatiannya.
dan di saat dia harus menghentikan semuanya
hehehhehe... i left alone.

then I've learned that
(sigh..')
ga boleh menyepelekan perhatian seseorang.
bisa aja perhatian itu tulus...
(dalam hal ini, perhatian dari seorang psikopat adalah pengecualian yah !!!)

ga boleh sok-sok ignore perhatian oranglaen,
nyesel lo entar kalo dia beneran dah ngilang...

lagunya Marc Anthony ini pas banget di bagian reffrainnya, baca deh...


You Sang To Me

Oh...
I just wanted you to comfort me
When I called you late last night you see
I was fallin' into love
Yes, I was crashin' into love
Oh of all the words you sang to me
About life, the truth and being free, yeah
You sang to me, oh how you sang to me

Girl, I live off how you make me feel
So I question all this being real
'Cause I'm not afraid to love
For the first time I'm not afraid of love

Oh, this day seems made for you and me
And you showed me what life needs to be
Yeah, you sang to me, oh you sang to me

All the while you were in front of me I never realized
I just can't believe I didn't see it in your eyes
I didn't see it, I can't believe it
Oh but I feel it
When you sing to me
How I long to hear you sing beneath the clear blue skies
And I promise you this time I'll see it in your eyes
I didn't see it, I can't believe it
Oh but I feel it
When you sing to me

Just to think you live inside of me
I had no idea how this could be
Now I'm crazy for your love
Can't believe I'm crazy for your love
The words you said you sang to me
And you showed me where I wanna be
you sang to me, oh you sang to me

All the while you were in front of me I never realized
I just can't believe I didn't see it in your eyes
I didn't see it, I can't believe it
Oh but I feel it
When you sing to me
How I long to hear you sing beneath the clear blue skies
And I promise you this time I'll see it in your eyes
I didn't see it, I can't believe it
Oh but I feel it
When you sing to me

All the while you were in front of me I never realized
I just can't believe I didn't see it in your eyes
I didn't see it, I can't believe it
Oh but I feel it
When you sing to me
How I long to hear you sing beneath the clear blue skies
And I promise you this time I'll see it in your eyes
I didn't see it, I can't believe it
Oh but I feel it
When you sing to me

All the while you were in front of me I never realized
I just can't believe I didn't see it in your eyes
I didn't see it, I can't believe it
Oh but I feel it
When you sing to me
How I long to hear you sing beneath the clear blue skies
And I promise you this time I'll see it in your eyes
I didn't see it, I can't believe it
Oh but I feel it

Mau nya apa sih?

my sweet friend...
sekitar seminggu lalu lah, she told me that...
(dengan terjemahan gue sendiri yah... ) " daku sedang merasa tak menentu..."

setelah beberapa pertanyaan yang cukup menginterogasi, akhirnya gue tau
dirinya sedang galaw gara-gara mau move on tapi... someone pull her back lagi !!!
aahhh... ini nih yang namanya damn !!

temanku ini, dia in love... deeply in love
sejak setaun lalu deh kayaknya, dan yang terjadi adalah ada yang Playing for keeps.
damn..

I wish I have a chance to say to him...
at least for him lho ya, to do her a favor gituuuu !!

please tell her when to let go, because she's seems holding on ...
padahal yah...
if he say it's time to move on,
mungkin she will stop holding on...

kenapa sih harus ada kondisi playing for keeps?
kalo udah ga mau, udah ga minat, dan ga bisa berkomitmen,
ya sudahlah... let go let go !!!!
ini sih engga.
if she sudah mulai nampak menjauhi,
eh this guy malah sok sok komen-komen di FB
membahas hal-hal yang sweet for her...
aih.. please deh !!!
kesannya...
ga mau keilangan fans !!! ke laut aje loe, gundul !

sayang...
don't you ever feel stuck and watching history repeating.
move on girl, it's time to move on...



Kissing You
Des'ree


Pride can stand a thousand trials
The strong will never fall
But watching stars without you
My soul cries

Heaving heart is full of pain
Oooh, oooh, the aching
'Cause I'm kissing you, oooh
I'm kissing you, oooh

Touch me deep, pure and true
Give to me forever
'Cause I'm kissing you, oooh
I'm kissing you, oooh

Where are you now
Where are you now
'Cause I'm kissing you
I'm kissing you, oooh


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16 tahun saja...

16 taun, bukan waktu yang cukup singkat kan...
bisa dibilang itu adalah kurun waktu yang cukuuuuuuppp lama.
kalo punya anak aja, udah usia ABG tuh !!
slama 16 taun juga gue ga ketemu sama satu orang temen SMP.
hahahahah...., once again, thanks to facebook lah tentunya..!

menurut loe yang lagi baca, apa aja yang bisa terjadi dalam kurun waktu 16 taun??
ah, ada-ada aja....
jangankan 16 taun, lha cuma 1 minggu aja bisa memunculkan banyak hal yang di luar dugaankan?!

16 taun gue ga ketemu sama ni orang ...
one of unforgettable person for me, the nice one.
I only see his face by pictures, on his friendster or facebook...
we do some chats too sometimes.

then...
we met once in a rainy day, and bla.. bla.. bla...
ngobrol lah kita.
ow ow ow, rupanya banyak hal yang sudah terjadi dalam hidup kita masing-masing.
cuma muka, suara dan senyum yang ga berubah.

but, from only a couple hours of conversation and sweet smile that covered his face,
do I have rights to judge him ?!
hmmmm.. .I don't think so.
baru ketemu satu kali, trus mau menilai dirinya..??? duh engga banget deh.

tapi sayangnya, how easily he did that to me.
pengen rasanya I put some curse on him !!! hahahahahha....
jadi kodok, jadi kodok dah !!!
tapi sayangnya....
ini nih yang bikin gue bete sebenernya...

gue ga bisa marah ma dia.
ga bisa benci, even I really want to.

I named him, camera man part two.

but I do have a song for him...

Lucky by jason m'raz .

ft. Colbie Caillat

Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky oh my, baby I'm trying
Yeah I hear you in my dreams
I hear your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Oooohhhhoohhhhohhooohhooohhooohoooh

They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I wait for you I promise you, I will

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music, fell the air
I put a flower in your hair
And though the breeze is through trees ???
Move so pretty you're all I see
Let the world keep spinning round
You hold me right here right now

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Ooooh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh